Category: Family and Friends

My Brother In Law’s Story

I’ve been wanting to post this here for a while now, but I wanted my Brother In Law to type it up so the facts were straight. He recently put it on our family website. It’s an amazing story, here it is …

2007 brought a lot of change in our lives. I have told parts of this story to several of [the family] and it has been requested that I post the whole story. So I will.
When I graduated high school, I went to one job interview. I got the job. That was June 15, 1995. Between then and mid 2007, I had been in four different positions for the company. In 2006, I had reached the top of the ladder. I was the supervisor over all the areas that I had worked during my career there. I had several good employees under me. I was making good money, which would have only gotten better over the next several years. I was put in charge of a 3 million dollar project to build a new facility. I had arrived. I thought.
Our faith and church have always been very important to us. We had changed churches in 2006 and feeling very comfortable in the new church. We were given the opportunity to run the youth department. That had been something we had done at our old church, so we were pleased that the ministry JUST HAPPENED to become open at the right time. By the way, I don’t believe in accidents, coincidence, or just happened. The Bible says “All things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose” It did not just happen, it was God’s Will.
In August 2007, our church held their annual preacher’s meeting called “Fishers Of Men Fellowship” Pastors from all over the state and surrounding states come to our church to hold three days of meetings. A day consists of breakfast, four different pastors preaching, lunch, four different pastors preaching, a two-hour break, supper, and a revival type service in the evening where two more pastors preach. It is a marathon of preaching, but one that I will never miss. On Thursday of the week, a preacher named Ray Ditch was asked to preach. He had recently had a stroke and was still suffering from some of the effects of that, but when he started any and all aliments were gone and he was able to preach. The sermon was 21 minutes long. In those 20 minutes, my life was forever changed. He preached on James 1:22. It says, “Be ye doer of the work and not hearers only” He said that standing idle was not acceptable. God has a will and a purpose for each of our lives and that if God is calling you to do something then you should just do it. He kept saying that just do it, just do it. He was not finished but after about 20 minutes he said the Lord was telling him to sit down and that was what he was going to do. He sat down and over the next 2 1/2 hours three other preachers spoke about “something”. I don’t know what they spoke about because Just Do It, Just Do It kept ringing in my mind. When the meeting broke for lunch, I went down to the altar at the front of the church and asked God a question. “Just Do What, LORD??” Over course he didn’t answer but while I was still kneeling there I told the LORD something that I meant then and that I still mean now. “Whatever it is LORD that you would have me to do LORD I will do it. Whatever it is, I’m in.” I literally felt something, a weight, lifted off of my shoulders. The day continued. I went to lunch and then we had four more preachers speak.
After the second session, I went home and talked with Hannah. She had no knowledge of what had gone on. I walked in and asked her a question. I said, ” If the LORD calls me anywhere, are you with me?” She had the “deer in the headlight” look. Her look told me to ask the question again so I did. She said after the second attempt, Yes, she would follow wherever the LORD would call us. Then, she asked, “Why?” I feel this was important because I had committed to God without knowing what I was committing to. Hannah also had to blindly commit to me, her husband, before knowing the circumstances or “the what”. God wants us to blindly commit to His calling. That is the faith the Lord wants us to have. I told Hannah what had transpired throughout the day. She asked me, ” Do you know what it is?” I told that I did not but when I did I would let her know.
Early the next week I had a feeling, I guess you would call it. I felt the LORD had showed me what was going to happen. As I had promised, I went to Hannah and told her that I thought I knew what was going to happen. This is what I told her. In our church, there are three full time paid positions. One is the pastor. One is the printer at our printing ministry, and one is the principal of our Christian School. All three positions were filled and had been for years. I told Hannah that Ron would step down as printer, Mike would move from Principal to Printer, and I was going to become Principal of the school. My wife, full of faith and spiritually minded said, “Yeah Right!” I thanked her for her support and told her that was what God had showed me. Her response this time was more open-minded. She said, “We’ll See.”
Two days later, on Wed, Ron stood up and announced that for personal reasons he would be stepping down as printer after many years of service. Hannah looked at me dumbfounded. COINCIDENCE. Over the next month, three men of the church applied for the job of printer. Mike was not one of them.
At work, we were just finishing the building project. The hectic time was beginning to turn into a more normal routine. My job had become easier. The workload was lighter. BUT I was not happy. I had always enjoyed going to work. I took pride in my job. My philosophy was I had to be there so I might as well enjoy it. I could not explain it. I was not happy.
Through the interview process, all of the men who had applied for the printer job had decided that the job was not for them and they were not interested in the position. At the September business meeting, Mike stood up and said that he felt that God was pushing him toward taking the job as the printer. It was a push he was willing to take if the church would allow him to make the move. The church voted then that Mike would become the new printer and now the position of principal was now vacant. COINCIDENCE. Hannah was shocked. After the meeting, I immediately went to the pastor and told him that I was interested in the job of principal. His response shook me. He said, “I know.”
After that conversation, I left it in God’s hands. I did not ask any questions. I just waited. In November, I was called in to have a meeting with the pastor and the deacons. It was then that I realized that another man had applied for the job. I never considered not getting the job. I figured that God would work it out. At the December business meeting, the deacons recommended that I be voted into the position. The church agreed and I was to start in Jan. The next day, I done something I never thought I would do. I gave my two-week notice to take a job that paid 1/3 less and I was not only happy about it, I was elated. The unhappiness that I had felt since August had also been lifted. It was then that I remembered something that Brother Ray had said. When you are not in God’s Will, you are just not happy. I realized that for 12 years, God’s will had been for me to work at Orscheln and I loved it. In August 2007, His Will for me changed and I could not be happy again until I was back in His Will.
I started the job of principal on Jan 1, 2008 and I have not had a bad day at work. I love it. It has now been 5 months and the school year is winding down and I still love it. We still run the youth department and love it also. Through the summer I will work at our camps and help Mike in the print work. I will also work on the next year of school. We are remodeling a building that we will use next year for our school. The LORD is going to grow the school and we need to be prepared for that. I will also go to some training during the summer to help better equip me in the new position. Everyday the Lord gives me the strength that I need for that day. He has blessed my family and I in so many ways there is not time to type it all.
The LORD is real and wants us to help Him. We do this by committing ourselves to God before he shows us where or what He would have us to do. If you commit, God will show you things and do things in your life that you would not seem possible.
I DON’T BELIEVE IN COINCIDENCES!!

One thing I’ll add that he shared with me, but didn’t include here. When me met with the church leaders, they asked him if he’d been praying about this decision. His reply was “No, not at all. God told me this was what was going to happen, there didn’t seem to be a point in praying about it.”

The Father In Law I Never Knew


It’s interesting how you get to see other sides of people at their funerals. Folks talk of their memories and you get to share in snippets of their lives that you weren’t privy to before. Why do people tend to wait to do that until after they’re gone? These two images of Maria’s father struck me as two images showing sides of the guy I never knew.
When I first met him, he was in his early 60’s, so in my mind he was always an older man and grey haired. The picture of this dashing man in his 30’s, with the jet black hair and that pencil thin mustache caught me by surprise.
But the Robert Steeves I really wished I had known was the one in the top picture. The man standing in the prison corridor, Bible in hand. This is the minister who ran a prison ministry for 4 or 5 years in the 80’s, who had an unrealized dream of a place for prisoner’s families to stay when visiting. The man who opened his own home to a few of those families. I see a man with a vision, a passion and a ministry of his own.
But the man I knew didn’t go to church regularly anymore. Oh, his faith was still real, I don’t question that, but I wonder why the passion that would lead a man to preach in a prison wasn’t there any more. He was no longer engaged in ministry the way I see him here.
I wonder what happened to that passion. Was it just the toils of aging that took it away? Was he burned out taking care of those in society who most would rather ignore? Was there no one else to share his passion and hold up his hands as he got weary? I’ll never know and I never had, or took I guess, the opportunity to ask.
One thing I did know is his concern for his daughters’ welfare. Each and every time we visited, from that first trip when we were either dating or engaged, as we were prepared to leave he’d shake my hand and tell me “You take good care of her now.” This was no parting pleasantry, it was said with authority. Maybe it’s just a trick of memory, but I remember those first few times before he really knew me, he wasn’t about to release my hand until he had an acceptable answer of “I will”. It was a serious question and it made an impression on me as a young man. I got the impression that there would be consequences if I failed.
Even as the years passed and he knew me better (and our daughters were born), each parting was still the same. “Take care of those girls” he’d say. The edge of his words were softened, but the seriousness was still there.
Last Wednesday, as we left Moberly MO, I felt a pang of sadness as there was no reminder to take care of these girls. But don’t worry Dad, I will.

Tough Times

Sorry it’s been a slow few weeks around here, it’s been a challenging time for us.
First, my wife’s an accountant and it’s been tax time, so her part time job this time of year turns into 40-50 hours per week. Normally she’s home when the younger two kids get off the bus, but not now. On top of that, she’s back in school pursuing her CPA. This term she only has one on line class, but she still has to log in several times a week, there are homework assignments and case studies to do. Of course it’s hardest on Maria, but it does affect the whole family.
Then, Easter weekend, shortly after arriving at my Mom and Dad’s Friday night, we got a call from Maria’s brother that her Dad was in the hospital. He had emergency hernia surgery and was on a respirator and it didn’t look like he was going to be able to come off of it, yet he was demanding they remove the tube. We got Maria a flight out of Detroit to St. Louis where she’d rent car to drive 2.5 hours to Columbia, where he was in the hospital. They removed the tube and he managed to pull through, even though all the docs had said he wouldn’t. It was certainly a relief, although his oxygen levels remained dangerously low.
She also learned that her grandmother, who’s health (like her Dad’s) had been failing for some time, was not doing well either. She had been battling dementia for a year or two and hadn’t really been ‘grandma’ for a while now. She was in hospice and the family was being told it wouldn’t be long. Maria returned to Columbus Sunday night, leaving her Mom torn between needing to be with her recovering husband and her dying mother.
Maria’s grandmother passed away that Tuesday and we made plans to head to Rushville IL for the funeral that next weekend. It was both sad and yet a bit of a relief as her quality of life had gone down significantly in the past year or so.
That was the weekend of the 30th. A little over a week ago, on Saturday the 12th, we learned that her Dad had apparently had a stroke the night before. Her mom awoke to find him still in his chair, unresponsive. He was taken to the hospital where it was confirmed. There was no indication he recognized anyone at all. He had requested no heroic measures, so it was only a matter of time before his body caught up with where it seemed his mind had already gone. In the early morning hours the following Sunday, he passed away.
Her Mom had remarked a while back as their health was failing that she was afraid that she was going to loose her husband and mother in the same week. Unfortunately, she was too close to being right as in reality, it was not quite three.
So this past week we made another trip west to Missouri to bury Maria’s father. Because of his recent suffering, it was once again sad and yet a relief.
Of course, regular life – colds, school, clarinet lessons, choir practice, gymnastics, church, dishes, laundry – goes on in the midst of it all. Ironically, emotionally I think we’re all doing OK, but physically we’re drained, Maria more so of course. She returns to part time in a week or two, so that’s good, but next term she’s taking 3 classes instead of 1. She flat amazes me with what she takes on.
Anyway, that’s where I’ve been of late.

Samich

On the way home from dinner last night I had this (paraphrased) conversation with 9 year old Audrey:
Dad: I didn’t see, did you finnish your sandwich?
Audrey: No, it was time to go.
Dad: OK
Audrey: I don’t each sandwiches. Sandwiches are mean and live in sand castles so I have a samich.
Dad: Really? Well that makes sense. Is that spelled S A M M I C H?
Audrey: I think there’s only one M
She thinks there’s only one M in the word she made up.
I’m convinced that Audrey lives in a parallel universe that we can only see glimpses of. It sure looks like a lot of fun though.

15 Years

15 years seems like a long time.
When I was 10, it seemed like an eternity. Next year seemed like a lifetime away.
Today it seems like both forever and an instant.
15 years ago today this amazing woman did the most inexplicable thing. She married me.
It seems like only yesterday that I was falling in love with her, and yet I can’t remember a time that she wasn’t right beside me.
These days, I frequently don’t feel like much of a catch. I’m becoming grumpy & irritable all to often.
Yet for some reason she still loves me. And when I come home in a foul mood and I see her smile at me – it’s OK after all.
If grace can be summed up in human action, this is it, that a woman such as this would love one such as me.
Thanks for 15 years honey, here’s to many more.

Google Streetview Tour of Our Life in Michigan


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Thanks to Google Streetview and the new ground level photos of the Detroit area, you can now see the first house Maria and I lived in in Dearborn. Not only that, but go ahead, take a walk around the old neighborhood.
The small (around 800 square feet) two bedroom was just right for newlyweds. The bedrooms were so small that we couldn’t vacuum around the furniture, the vacuum wouldn’t fit.
That front porch was relatively new when we lived there nearly 15 years ago. It seems to have help up well. I also remember there being a rather large tree right by the road which should be blocking the view. I guess in 15 years trees get cut down.
What’s odd is that I recall the house being brick, but it’s obviously sided now. Maybe it was that old fashioned ‘brick look’ asphalt siding and my memory is just a little fuzzy.

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We lived there for a year and then moved to this townhouse in Century Square apartments in Taylor, right off of Racho road. That’s our place with the white chairs in front of it. Racho road was a two lane country road then, they widened it after we lived there.
This is where we lived when Jessica was born. This is also where someone (not too bright) tried to steal my 1988 Nissan Pulsar SE and only managed to disable it, costing me a couple hundred dollars to replace the ignition lock. Funny the things you remember.

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We couldn’t stay put, so after a year and a half in Taylor, we moved to this apartment in Riverview. That’s our building, right next to the pool. We were on the second floor, on the far side. That sidewalk is where I dropped Jessica on her face in the snow when she was a baby. She didn’t like that much, but seems to have survived without any permanent effects.
I won’t bore you with the places Maria and I worked or anything more. We left Riverview for Columbus OH in 1996. Funny, except for the white siding on the first house, things look pretty similar to what I remember.

Happy (Belated) Birthday to Me

I had great intentions of marking the occasion when it happened, but, well I didn’t. Pinakidion’s birthday post reminded me.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a birthday. Nov. 27th to be exact. Same day as Jimi Hendrix, only 25 years later. 27 years after Bruce Lee and 12 years after Bill Nye the science guy. 872 years after Pope Urban II launched the first crusade. Yippie.
For those of you good at math (and history), you may have figured out that this was a big year for me. Yep, the big 4-0. I’m officially over the hill at this point.
The number itself wasn’t a big deal. I don’t suddenly feel old now that there’s a 4 in front of my age. No, it was the circumstances of life that did it. 😀
The extra 25-30 pounds that have gathered around my mid section in recent years, for one.
Seriously one of the real things that hit me as I approached 40 was the realization that I had nothing to look forward to. What I mean is, as you grow up, you have all these things you look forward to doing. For me I looked forward to graduating from college, getting married, having kids, getting my career going, getting a new car, getting a classic car, buying a house, etc. I realized that I’ve done all that stuff. In some sense, I find myself standing here, right where I wanted to be, saying “Now what?”
Of course there are things to look forward to, I guess I just need to change gears. Getting the kids through school, baptising them, seeing them through college, seeing them married and of course grandkids (That last one was a bit scary to type!). OK, I’m getting a little ahead of myself, but I guess it’s time to shift my perspective. A new decade, a new perspective.
40 down, another 40 or so (I hope) to go. It’s a little sobering to think that I’m at or near the point where the years I have left are fewer than the years that have past. Of course it’s not real healthy to think of things that way, but it is reality.
Certainly, these realizations have played into my rather melancholy, introspective mood of late. I didn’t intend this to be a downer post, I know there’s plenty of good things ahead. Life does not end at 40, but it seems a fair bit of it comes to a head.
It does make one pause and think a bit.

Christmas is Here

This was originally written for my guest post on NITU that I was awarded for knowin that both Santa and the Jolly Green Giant wee known for saying ‘Ho, ho, ho’.
Today (OK, last Saturday) was decoration day. Time to pull all the Christmas stuff out and decorate the house for the holidays. Maria is very into the holidays. Me, not so much. However, I do love the way the house looks when it’s done. We’ve got loads of animated and light up buildings, figures, trees, snowmen and what not. We’ve got several ‘countdown to Christmas’ things that the kids really enjoy taking turns doing. Everywhere you look there’s something moving, glowing or playing music. OK, mostly the music stays off (gets pretty annoying.)
Anyway, usually the first weekend after Thanksgiving is decoration day. My responsibilities are limited:

  1. Don’t be a grouch. You think I’m kidding? Maybe you remember the icicle light incident of three tears ago …(Maria every now and then starts singing “It’s the most wonderful time of the year …” or something as I get a little annoyed at the stupid tree. I appreciate that.)
  2. Plug my laptop into the surround sound so we can play all our Christmas music on random. I love technology.
  3. Bring all the tubs of Christmas stuff up from the basement.
  4. Assemble the Christmas tree.
  5. String the bead garland and put the ornaments on the top part of the tree. Aside from my 6′ 1″ frame, Maria’s the next tallest at 4′ 10″. If it weren’t for me, the top foot of the tree would be bare.

Other than that, it’s sit back and enjoy the show. The kids love every minute of it. By the time I’m done with getting the tree together, Maria and the kids have all the stuff out of the tubs and set up around the house.
Then it’s time for the tree. One of our traditions is that we buy the girls ornaments each year to set aside for their own trees one day. Either a set of simple ornaments or a single, more expensive fancy one. They’ve now each have an organizer with their ornaments in. Each year they pick out a certain number to put on the tree, the rest are Mom and Dad’s.
This year, we decided to let them go all out. The tree is all their ornaments. I’m not much on hanging ornaments, I’d rather sit back and watch. I enjoy watching how excited they get about finding the perfect spot for that special ornament.
Other traditions we have:

  • Santa fills the stockings and brings some of the presents, Mom and Dad bring the rest (but not at the same time). Growing up for me it was all Santa and our stockings were just for show.
  • There’s always an orange in the toe of the stocking. There’s also a new toothbrush, some candy (great combo, eh?) and some other goodies.
  • Since we usually head to Grandmas on Christmas eve, Santa comes early. The space under our tree is filled Christmas eve morning. I like that Santa is smart and considerate like that.
  • On Christmas eve eve, we read the Bible Christmas story and open family presents. One of them is always new ‘jammies for the girls. That way they look pretty for Christmas eve morning pictures. 😀 Growing up for me, Christmas eve was for family presents too, but it was Grandma and Grandpa presents.
  • Then, on Christmas eve afternoon, we leave for the Schaefer holiday tour. We start with a few days in Toledo with my family, including the traditional Christmas eve gathering. After Church, Mom and Dad open their home to a few friends with no family in town. After the Tom and Jerry’s (sweet, hot drink) and snacks, the guests go home and the adults open their presents. We take turns giving, the receiver of a present then becomes the giver next time.

    • After Toledo, we head to MO to see Maria’s family. Along the way, we stop for the night in IL and our good friends from WI drive down to meet us for a night. Swimming in the hotel pool, cards after the kids go to sleep and lots of laughs. I hope we continue to do this for many years.

  • Then it’s a late Christmas with Maria’s family. Presents are opened at her brother’s house, and as they are you’ll find folks hoarding the discarded wrapping paper. Why? Because after they’re all opened, the ceiling fan gets turned on and the wads of wrapping paper get tossed into the fan. Her brother finds paper wads behind furniture until summer time.

I’m sure there are more that I missed, Maria’s the tradition tracker. In fact, she’s the driving force behind most of them. And I’m grateful.
How about you? What are your traditions?

I’d Like Your Prayers

If you feel so moved, I’d appreciate your prayers from Maria’s Dad. He went into the hospital earlier this week with shortness of breath. He’s been in for a few days and only made marginal improvements.
His name is Robert. He’s in his mid 70’s and was a smoker for over 60 years. He started when he was 12 and didn’t quit until a couple of years ago. He has emphysema and has had throat cancer. He now has COPD and likely pneumonia, though his lungs are so damaged they cannot see for sure. He cannot even get out of bed without being extremely exhausted, yet he’s convinced that he doesn’t need to be in the hospital and wants to go home.
This has been very stressful and hard on the family. We are several hundred miles away, and Maria’s youngest brother is the only one of the four kids in town. It’s hard being this far and not knowing how we can help. We cannot just run and help, though it feels like we should (and we, or at least Maria, still may). We are certainly grateful of all her brother is doing on his own.
If your willing, pray of course for his health, for his doctors, for peace for Maria’s Mom Donna who is overwhelmed right now and strength and patience for her brother Adam.
Thanks.

And She Said Yes …

15 years ago, on a chilly Cincinnati evening, while thousands of little ones were running from door to door looking for tricks or treats, I knelt down (right about here) and asked this amazing small woman who had flipped my world around to do the unthinkable – spend the rest of her life next to me.
The crazy woman said yes.
And the roller coaster began. My life would never be the same, the twists and turns were unexpected – and joyous. Who knew there was so much out there that I would never have seen. If I could, I’d do it all over again. Twice.
The funny thing is that I asked her to share my journey, but it’s been me sharing hers that has been the blessing.
Thanks Honey.

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