Friday was Maria’s birthday. I’ve been part of 16 birthdays with her, hence the title. I’m a little late, but she was out of town so it’s all good. 😀 this is what I wrote in her card.
After 16 birthdays together, I had to stop and think about what I wanted to you to know that I hadn’t already said.
I want you to know that you still thrill and excite me. Your smile and laugh still brighten my world like the sun bursting through the clouds after a long rainy day. That just your touch makes the world right again when everything is all wrong.
You are still the one, the girl of my dreams and I’d be lost without you.
Happy Birthday.

Last July, I wrote about loosing my wife’s cat of 15.5 years. It was hard, but the pain was tempered by the long time she was with us and the understanding that she was sick and hurting and her time had come.
At the time I mentioned in passing that we had 4 cats. What I didn’t write about was that a short time later, my oldest daughter’s cat, Midnight (at left), which was almost 5, was having a hard time finding the litter box. While visibly healthy and happy (well, Midnight wasn’t ever particularly happy. She was a bit like the Oscar the Grouch of cats), she was slowly destroying our carpets, throw rugs and whatever else got left on the floor. We took her to the vet and tried some medication, but it became clear that this wasn’t working out. We took her to the local shelter, hoping she might get adopted, but knowing that once we told them that her litter habits were sporadic, she may not make it.
It was hard on Jessica because she had gotten her when she wasn’t yet weaned. We bottle fed her for the first few weeks. Jess loved Midnight, even though Midnight wasn’t overly affectionate. Though she’s a very strong girl and understood why it had to happen, it was still hard.
That meant we were down to 2 cats, Emily’s Cookey and the hitchhiker, Cally (remind me to tell that story some time). Not too long later, however, we got two new kittens, one for Jess and one for Audrey who hadn’t ever had a pet of her own. Two little black boys, Twitch and Boo. Those two were a riot, chasing each other around and playing. Even when they’d calm down, they’d be together, laying in a chair one’s arm over the other. Twitch, on the right with the white belly and paws, was Jess’ and all-black Boo belonged to Audrey.
Well, wouldn’t you know, on Monday we noticed Boo was throwing up and had slowed down considerably. By this evening when Maria got home, he was quite lethargic. Off to the vet he went.
The prognosis was not good. He was seriously dehydrated and had lost 0.6 of his 3.6 lbs. He either had a virus or an obstruction. IV fluids would be needed right away and a night in the hospital and a lot of money.
It one of those decisions a Dad hates to make. There’s just not money to do what needs to be done, yet it’s so hard to say no. Mom was with him at the vet and she didn’t want to let go, but understood why we should. In the end, after further talking with the vet, a recovery would be very expensive and was, frankly, a long shot. That made the decision a lot easier, but still hard. Sigh.
Audrey was home with me, finishing homework. We hadn’t had supper yet, so I asked her to go to McD’s drive through with me. It was a diversion, as the real mission was to go say goodbye to Boo. In the car, I told her what was happening. We had done all we could, but Boo wasn’t coming back home, but we wanted her to be able to say goodbye. After a lot of tears, I carried my brave little girl into the vet’s and she held her kitty for the last time and said her goodbyes. There were more tears as we left and more at bed time and probably more to come. Even Twitch has been crying out, wondering where his brother and playmate has gone.
Boo only spent a couple of short months with us. There will be a new kitten, but for now we’ll just mourn.

What a great day it was, though. Starting with an outdoor church service, then a few hours of letterboxing followed by a little relaxing & reading, dinner on the patio, cutting the grass and then a game of Rummikub with Maria & the girls.
Ironically, the day started with some surprise clouds rolling in which prompted a check of the weather radar on TV to see if we were going to be rained out at church, and letterboxing clues are all listed on line, so we had to get on to find those. But we limited out ‘plugged in’ activities to those two things, which were only to make our unplugged day a success.
The hint that this was overdue came as the day rolled on and I felt increasingly compelled to check-in online with my email and blogs. Yeah, I’m too plugged in.
A very good day, and, I should point out, it was almost entirely my wife’s idea.
Should have done this sooner.

We’ve decided that Sundays we are going off the grid. Ok, not quite off the grid, we’ll still use lights, the dishwasher, the oven, etc, but we won’t be on the computer or the TV. We’ll play games, go to the park, take a bike ride, read a book, have people over and try to do things together as a family.
We’re a family of loners, frankly, and Maria and I don’t think that’s good. Left to our own, I think we’d eventually all find our own corner of the house, with a TV or computer, and sink into our own little world. After the kids go to bed, Maria and I pretty much do just that, she to her office and me in the recliner, each on our laptops. (I decided that I can use the chair in her office, so we’re at least in the same room)
Unplugged Sundays is one small step against that trend. So, if you email me on Sunday, don’t expect and answer until Monday. I’ll be unplugged.

My wife and I have been married for 15.5 years, yet up until this week, I was not the oldest relationship in her life. In fact, the entire time we’ve been married, we’ve shared our bed with another.

Pleiades, a petite, black domestic short hair came into Maria’s life around the time that we began dating. She came with her sister, Eileen who was born with only 3 paws (get it?). When we were married, Eileen went to live with a friend and it was Maria, me, Pleiades and my big dumb boy cat Rusty. Pleiades was one of a little of 7 sisters, hence the name.
Rusty got sick and a couple of other cats have come and gone, but for 15.5 years, Pleiades has been there with us, and for about a year before that with just Maria. She was always there at bed time, ready for some attention as you were ready to sleep. I’d be trying to close my eyes while Maria read a page or two and Pleiades would get up in between us for Maria to scratch her head a bit (and to swish her tail in my face too, I think)
She’d curl up with Maria whenever she wasn’t feeling well. If I came home and Maria was having one of those migraines that drove her to bed with the shades drawn to block out the light, Pleiades would be there, curled up beside her.
Each night, after her head scratching, she’d be there at the end of the bed on Maria’s side (although in recent months, she preferred my side). She spent most of her days there as well, curled up in a neat, shiny black circle, nose to tail.
Lately though, things haven’t been the same. While she was still there, every night in the bed and she still seemed to get around OK, she wasn’t able to eat the hard food anymore and even the canned stuff we bought for her didn’t usually stay down. She had a seizure a while back, too, which was a scary moment for us to watch. Who knows if she had any more when we weren’t there.
It was clear, the time for hard decisions was coming. Neither she or us could go on this way much longer. This was a decision that Maria had to make, though of course I supported her completely in whatever she decided. So, last Monday, Maria and Pleiades made a trip out, but only Maria returned.
It was lonely that night in the bed. We left on Tuesday for a camping trip and came back tonight. Usually, the cats all come (we had four) to greet us in their own time and Pleiades was usually one of the first, purring and chattering at us, welcoming us home. This time, there was something missing. The welcoming committee was a little slow in coming, and didn’t have near as much to say.
And bed time will be missing something again, too.