In some ways I’ve begun to loathe Sunday mornings. The main reason is that it’s become quite stressful to get the family out the door for church. I’m ashamed to admit (especially considering my position as Deacon of Children’s Ministry at my church) that our Sunday church preparations have become far from Godly. Of course, it’s not just Sunday, it’s just that Sunday is the one day when we all have to get ready and out the door at basically the same time. The stress is concentrated and therefore our shortcomings amplified.
Two things brought me to this realization this morning. The first was hearing my persistent shouting at my girls to get with it and get ready. Get dressed, get your shoes on, go downstairs, get your hair brushed, eat, eat, eat! Something happened this morning that allowed me to sort of stand beside myself and watch and listen. Is this the picture I want in their mind as they remember me years from now? The angry, yelling father? Is this the example that I want to set for them? Look, kids, here’s how you treat the people you love. If they don’t do things right, or how you want, yell at them, berate them until they submit. The thought of it makes me sick. I have been trying, I thought, over the past months to re-focus my energies on teaching them respect rather than just obedience. Isn’t this what God wants of us? I mean if you have the broader idea of respect on straight, obedience will come naturally out of it. Yet there I was, belittling and berating them, no respect in my voice, only frustration and anger. I could see the hurt in their faces, and it hit me like a dagger in the heart.
My wife too, was frustrated with this morning. Her frustration was with their lack of respect for us, as seen in their lack of obedience. It wasn’t just this morning, it’s been an ongoing problem, they just don’t seem to care about what we say. A total lack of respect for authority which will hurt them in other areas of life if not checked. Although my reaction to it was pathetic, she was right. Their utter disregard for our instructions was alarming and discouraging. And then she said something that lit a light bulb in my head. She said, “We are not training them, we are reacting to them.”
I thought about that all day long. She was absolutely right, but I didn’t know what to do with it, and I still don’t. Yet I’m convinced that this is where the solution will be found. As I think about it, I see a basic difference. Training is outward focused, concerned with them, their growth and well being. Reaction it born out of selfishness. They are getting in the way of my plans, inconveniencing me, making me look bad. If I am focused on me, I will react. If I am focused on them, I will train.
Like I said, I don’t know what exactly, practically, to do with this, but the realization alone is a start. Maria and I have committed tonight to pray for wisdom and insight into making this change in our hearts and mindset. We also plan on getting advice from an older couple in the church who, like us, have 3 daughters. Their girls are wonderful grown women, all out of college, which gives me great confidence that they will be able to help us.
Any insight anyone else has would be welcome too.

Emily, my middle daughter, and I are off on a road trip this evening to my Mom and Dad’s in Toledo. Each year around this time my Dad adn I take our traditional trip to Detroit for the North American International Auto Show. It’s a tradition that goeas back to when Maria and I lived in Detroit from 1993-1996. We’ve been to the show every year since, except for 199 when my youngest was born. (It didn’t seem appropriate to go off for the weekend with Maria due to give birth any day, nor in the days immediately following.) It’s an amazing automotive spectacle. It takes about 5 or 6 hours to get throught it, and that’s just skimming the surface. We skip the interactive kiosks and jumping in and out of all but a few cars. Hit the show cars, grab a brouchure for my collection and move on.
Emily will get to spend the day by herself with Grandma. She’ll be in seventh heaven, not having to share Grandma with anyone else. That doesn’t happen often. My sister is here in Columbus too, so if we head to Toledo or Mom and Dad come down her family, and 4 kids, are there too. That’s generally a good thing, they all 7 play well together, but it makes one on one time with Grandma or Grandpa a rarity.
We’ll be back sometime Saturday evening, or Sunday after church if the expected snow is too bad.

Today is Audrey’s birthday. She’s our youngest and today she turns 6. I remember when we first started to lead our church’s children’s ministry our oldest kids weren’t much older than 6. They seemed like such big kids and now my youngest is that age. Yikes.
We started today with our family tradition of breakfast in bed for the birthday girl. Then she got a bath and her hair curled and ready to go out. We went to Applebee’s for lunch and then off to Build-A-Bear. She got a kitty with a princess outfit and named it Princess Sparkle. Before we left she opened her presents (a 3 wheeled scooter and the Mulan DVD).
Audrey is a content kid. My sister is nearby and we are often there or they’re here. There’s 7 kids between us, all under 11, and Audrey can frequently be found by herself, quietly playing with a toy or looking at a book. She’s in all day kindergarten in a multi-age class with first graders too. She’s picked up on reading pretty quickly and can sound out most words and can even figure out how to spell them. Maybe it’s just normal (seems faster than the other two.) but I’m amazed at how fast she’s picked it up.
She’s also got an incredible long term memory, but not so good short term. She remembers the color of my great aunt’s casket (she was barely 3) but couldn’t remember where the lunch room was at school the other day.
She’s cute as a button – and she knows it. She’s tiny, she get’s mistaken for 4 a lot. She’s got a grin that just melts Daddy’s heart.
Happy birthday, baby boo.

Well, when I linked to my friend Paul’s new blog, I was excited to have him blogging. Then 12 days passed without a peep. At first I wondered if he was serious about blogging (sorry to doubt you, bro) but as time went on I hoped he was OK. Paul’s health isn’t so good.
My friend Paul has been through a lot. I mean an amazing amount. Really. He’s posted about his health struggles, and I’d encourage you to read it. Not so you can go “Awww” and feel sorry for him, Paul wouldn’t be impressed and frankly probably doesn’t want the attention. No, you should go for two reasons. One, to get some perspective on your own troubles and woes. And two, to be inspired by a man who’s been through the wringer and still loves God and is passionate to know Him. He’s an inspiration to me.
How bad can it be you wonder? Well, go read it, but to summarize, about 4 1/2 years ago he spent 16 weeks in an induced coma followed by months of physical therapy. He’s had multiple surgeries and been in and out of the hospital and unable to work since. His situation now?

Now, at this time, I now am diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis, diabetes, renal insufficiency, fatty liver, portal hyper tension, parathyroid condition, hypertrygliserosis, insulin resistance, inflamed spleen, inflamed panceas, herniatic intestine, nausia, chronic back pain, depression, OCD, PCSD, and as of last Wednesday, a infractured right foot (which I got from a fall when I blacked out). So try to deal with all of that along with financial devestation, raising a seven year old, and keeping a marriage healthy, and in a constant state of needing help from church, family, and state. We scrape, beg, plead, and generally have to ask for help consistantly. On top of all that, I am writing all the time. Not just this blog, but a book of poetry, a juvenial fiction novel, a full length Christian Sci-Fi novel in comic book form, and some advanced notes on reformation needs within contemporary New Testament Christianity. Oh, did I mention my spoiled dog? Well, needless to say, I recieved bad news this morning. My kidneys are rapidly failing, and I will probably need to go back on dialysis, maybe even within the week. This is a big bummer. I hate dialysis.

Meet with Paul and you’d have no idea that he was battling so much. He’s giving and joyful and revels in his God. Next time you complain about a sore back or a cold or sniffles, think about Paul and the folks like him and give thanks to God for your health.