This is awesome:
via: Hooniverse
Category: Goofiness
Seth Parker’s Hymnal
A couple months ago, Dad brought a bunch of hymnals that had been my Great Grandmothers and we spend some time at my sisters paging through them. It was cool to see some of our favorites today in those song books from 80 or so years ago.
One of them was named ‘Seth Parker’s Hymnal’. I had no idea who he was, but while paging through I came across this oddball:
IF YOU’RE HAPPY
(The Lord is Happy Too)If you think that the Lord is Gloomy
If you think that the Lord is Blue
You will find that you’ve been mistaken
It isn’t the Lord, it’s you.
You’ve gone to the Lord with trouble
You’ve gone to the Lord when sad
Just change things ’round next time.
And go to the Lord when glad
Chorus:
When you’re happy, the Lord is happy too
When you’re smiling, the Lord will smile at you.
Don’t you think it’s fair when all is said
To visit the Lord before you’re dead
When you’re laughing, the Lord will understand
‘Cause he made laughs the same as he made man
And if you should think the Lord is sad,
Try calling on Him when you’re glad.
I have no words for that, some of it just doesn’t make sense (visit the Lord before you’re dead?) What kind of whacked out hymn is this and what sort of theology says put on a happy face for God?
But wait, there’s more:
HAS ANYONE FOUND A TROUBLEI had a mess of troubles
That were troubling me
And each one was a thoroughbred
With a great long pedigree
But now I’ve gone and lost one
I’ve had since infancy
I thought my chronic trouble
Would have more loyalty
Chorus:
Has anybody found a trouble
The trouble that belongs to me?
It was as big a trouble
As troubles ever grow to be
You say you’ve found a small one
One you can hardly see?
Why that must be the trouble
The trouble that belongs to me.
Mmmm-kay.
So I Googled ‘Seth Parker’. Turns out he was a stage name for Phillips Lord (the songs were credited to both) who did a very popular radio show in the 1920s and early 1930s. Seth Parker was a character on the show, a folksy pastor based on his grandfather. The show aired 6 times a week and earned Lord close to $100,000 a year, according to the Wikipedia article linked above. He’s even got a star on the Hollywood walk of fame. I had assumed that Seth Parker was some sort of minister, but it turns out that he was just a showman with a sort of religious bent.
It wasn’t all goofy, folksy hymns. There are many old standards like IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL, ROCK OF AGES and JESUS LOVES ME. (There was also, ironically, THE OLD TIME RELIGION) There are a lot of hymns I’ve never heard of too, there among those odd balls by Mr. Lord.
But, he also wrote this one, which isn’t so odd at all:
HEAVENLY JEWELS
(verses 1 & 3)They tell me, up in heaven
The streets are paved with gold
The crowns upon the angels
are silver, I am told
The pearly gates of heaven,
Are made of jewels rare;
But what care I have for jewels,
If God is waiting there.
I’ve never even worried
About the things above,
When I have stopped to realize,
That I will have God’s love.
What heaven is or looks like,
I cannot seem to care.
For all I want to know is
That God is waiting there.
No, Brant Hansen, I Win at Christmas
Poor Brant Hansen.
Today, only 2 days after Thanksgiving he prematurely declares that he’s won Christmas with his fancy CHRIST-mas tree:
I win by demonstrating that your tree is just — you know — an Xmas tree. Your tree is a hollow reminder of paganism’s triumph. Your tree, which has exactly zero giant crosses in it, is an affront to the very reason we started cutting down pine trees and putting them in our living rooms and decorating them with popcorn in the first place: Jesus.
Your tree is lame. Your tree is a foot-soldier in the War on Christmas. Your tree hopes people have a happy holiday. Your tree watches MSNBC.
However, he clearly is over confident and declaring victory much too soon, for I am one upping his lowly tree with my new ‘The Christian Nation CHRIST-mas tree‘ adorned not with some low tech, old world wood cross but a glorious electrified illuminated cross. Not only do I pull ahead in the race to win Christmas, but I get a significant head start in winning the 4th of July because, as you can see, my tree is red white and blue!
Brant’s tree can only display it’s cross-ness during the daylight, while mine can all night long and even in a severe thunderstorm (as long as the power stays on). My tree is a tree that the founding fathers would have displayed if they had access to plastic red, white and blue pine needles.
Brant, your tree only makes a statement about Jesus, mine shouts JESUS! and AMERICA! therefore, I win.
Your move, Mr. Hansen.
Five for Friday
An “Occassional Series” here at Salguod.net. Inspired by Daniel at Alien Soil, I fire up Media Player on random and post the first 5 songs here.
Want to listen? Head over to my blip.fm profile and look for the songs tagged #five4friday. Sorry, not going to take the time today. If you miss that, let me know, ’cause I’m thinking of dropping that altogether.
- No Doubt – Running from The Singles 1992-2003
my wife bought this CD, and I’m glad she did. Some good tunes, including this ballad. - Lily Allen (DOCTOR ROSEN ROSENRx) – The Fear from It’s Not Me it’s Dr Rosen Rosen
This is a download that I found through the daily World Cafe email from WXPN. I love the Lily Allen song, and this mellow remix is pretty nice alternative. - REO Speedwagon – Ridin’ the Storm Out from The Hits
Showing the limts of my collection, this cong came up once before back in March. This live version is better than the studio by a long shot. - Crash Test Dummies – Here I Stand Before Me from God Shuffled His Feet
Odd but catchy tune by a unique and fun band. This guy has an amazingly deep voice for a pop singer. I love it. - Lemuel Sheppard – Bad Man from WCBE Vol. 6 – Mixx on the Fly
Great traditional blues tune. Opening lyrics: “Well, I went into a bar / tried to start a fight / couldn’t find nobody who want to die tonight / I’m a bad man / you best leave me be / I’m a real bad man / didn’t your mama tell you ’bout me?” Cool stuff.
Your turn, fire up your MP3 player, put it on random and give me yours in the comments. (Why doesn’t anyone ever do this? Come on, you know you want to.)
Five for Friday
Been a loooong time since I did one of these. An “Occassional Series” here at Salguod.net. Inspired by Daniel at Alien Soil, I fire up Media Player on random and post the first 5 songs here.
Want to listen? Head over to my blip.fm profile and look for the songs tagged #five4friday.
- The Cranberries – Not Sorry from Everyone Else is Doing it, So Why Can’t We?
Nice song that really highlights Dolores O’Riordan’s voice. - Rush – Show Don’t Tell from Presto
A neat track with syncopation in the intro that made me think at first it was one of those Rush tracks with alternating time signatures. Listening more carefully, though, I think it’s all in 4. - Casting Crowns – Joyful, Joyful from until the Whole World Hears
Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee is one of the best hymns of all time. I’m not sure Casting Crowns improves on it by adding a drum beat and their own chorus & bridge. Not bad, but give me a good acapella choir over this any day. - Damn Yankees – Mystified from Damn Yankees
Once again, Media player gives us a nice contrast. Hymn to a mildly suggestive hard rock love song. - Wilson Phillips – You’re in Love from Wilson Phillips
And now for something completely different. I guess this qualifies as a guilty pleasure, as I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I own this. I’d love to say it was my wife’s, but no such luck. I guess I’m a sucker for good female harmonies. Not my favorite song for sure, but light, fluffy and pretty. .
Your turn, fire up your MP3 player, put it on random and give me yours in the comments.
Swagger Wagon
I’m an unabashed fan of the minivan. If you need to haul a significant number of people or a significant amount of stuff or both on a regular basis, there is no better vehicle. I’d bet that my Odyssey minivan does more things well than whatever else your driving.
I’m a Honda guy, but the new Toyota Sienna looks like a very nice van. Regardless, this rap video for the Sienna is just plain awesome.
(Ironically, our next vehicle will likely not be a minivan because we want better towing for a possible camper upgrade in a couple of years. We’ll likely end up with a Chevy Traverse crossover, sacrificing some interior space and an MPG or two for 1,700 lbs of towing capacity. Most folks would be glad to get out of the minivan, but I’ll miss our Swagger Wagon.)
HT: Byrne at Majodojo
Dude!
We watch lost and Hurley is by far my favorite character. jezebel.com put together this compilation of Hurley saying Dude, which he does a lot. Almost 4 mins worth. Awesome.
Five for Friday
An “Occasional Series” here at Salguod.net. Inspired by Daniel at Alien Soil, I fire up Media Player on random and post the first 5 songs here.
Want to listen? Head over to my blip.fm profile and look for the songs tagged #five4friday.
- Pomplamoose – Mrs Robinson from Tribute to Famous People
Pomplamoose is a fun band. I love her voice (I think the harmonies are all her too). I’m pretty sure Bill at Thinklngs turned me on to them. A fun version of a Simon & Garfunkel classic (This is from a covers disk.) This is available as a free downloaded from their MySpace page. - Big Brother and the Holding Company – Piece of My Heart from Janis Joplin’s Greatest Hits
It’s Janis Joplin singing perhaps her most famous song. What more needs to be said? Awesome stuff. - Sting – Fragile from Nothing Like the Sun
I like this Sting album, a departure from his Police years. This is an light, airy song. - Huffamoose – Mary from WCBE Vol. 2 – Where are my Headphones?
Huh, two ‘amoose’ bands. 😀 Not the best song from the WCBE disks, pretty bleh. Even the singer seems kinda bored. - Kelly Clarkson – Gone from Breakaway
I tend to like Kelly Clarkson (am I loosing man points admitting that?), but I’d never heard this one. My wife bought the CD, this must be one of the ‘other’ tracks that didn’t get airplay. Not a bad song though.
Your turn, fire up your MP3 player, put it on random and give me yours in the comments.
Danny Boy
Yeah, I’m a little bit late for St. Patty’s Day, but this is too awesome to wait until next year.
HT: Thinklings
Five for Friday
An “Occasional Series” here at Salguod.net. Inspired by Daniel at Alien Soil, I fire up Media Player on random and post the first 5 songs here.
As with last time, I’m going to head over to blip.fm after I post this and blip each track so you can listen. Head to my blip.fm profile to have a listen. I’ll tag them #five4friday too.
- Peter Cetera – Glory of Love from Solitude / Solitaire
A staple of those late evening sappy “songs for lovers” kind of radio shows I’m sure (I’m looking at you Delilah), this is something my wife bought from iTunes and so it ended up in our shared library. Not bad, per se, but not something I would have bought. - Petra – All Fired Up from Petra Means Rock
From their 1995 greatest hits album, I’m not certain when it was originally released. By the sound, I’m guessing mid 80’s. I like Petra in general, the older stuff in particular. A decent song, but not great. - U2 – One from Achtung Baby
One of their classics. I’ve grown to appreciate U2 more in recent years as I’ve learned more about how their faith (or maybe just Bono’s?) has influenced their music. - Sparks From the Wheel – The Hat Song from WCBE Vol. 2 – Where are my Headphones?
This is a folks-y, country-ish song, like so many on these WCBE live disks. A good tune, not great. I couldn’t find it on blip.fm, sorry. - The Why Store – Lack of Water from WCBE Mixx on the Fly Vol. 4
Another WCBE track and (surprise!) it’s heavy on the acoustic guitar, but not as folks-y as others. This is a nice catchy tune, not sure how I’d categorize it. I found it on blip.fm, go check it out and tell me what you think.
Your turn, fire up your MP3 player, put it on random and give me yours in the comments.
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