Hebrews 11:1-31

Hebrews 11:1 – The EV uses the words ‘assurance’ and ‘conviction’. Makes me think of the previous post. Earlier in the year as God was revealing my character to me, I prayed with tears that somehow I could overcome what was so ingrained in me, it seemed like trying to stop being male or quit having 10 fingers. Yet somehow, and I shared this with others, I firmly believed that I would be different by God’s acting on me. Some where I lost that ‘assurance of things hoped for’, and now I just strive to get through each day. Did God get weaker? Did he loose interest? No, I just forgot. I’ve settled for things seen instead of having a ‘conviction of things unseen’.
Hebrews 11:15-16 – God is not ashamed of us when we are seeking heaven. So, does this means that when we are world focused He is ashamed of us? Putting it that way, I guess it makes sense. Now, I’m not sure that means from one day to another, minute to minute. “This morning you were heaven focused and I was not ashamed of you, but then you turned on ‘Deal or No Deal’ and were thinking of the world and I was ashamed. Still, the lesson is that God may be ashamed of us when we think small, and small thinking is earth bound thinking. We ought to have our minds on greater things, things of heaven and things of God.
I guess it’s obvious, but isn’t that the essence of faith? We seek more than the obvious conclusions and possibilities. Isn’t that what all these men did? The world offered some things, even some great things (Moses lived in the house of Pharaoh), but they were looking higher still. How easily I settle for the mundane or even the good and don’t have the faith to look higher, to see what God is offering and go after that. Even more so, to refuse to settle for good or Earthly greatness.

Someday

Someday
I want to drive to work without thinking “Why didn’t you signal? Get out of the left lane! Can’t you see your signal is still on? Why would anyone buy that car? Make up your mind, pass me or not. Don’t you check your mirrors? Let’s go!”
Someday
I want to see another’s opinions and decisions as valid and reasonable at first, rather than wonder why they don’t see things or do things my way and having to remind myself that I don’t have all the answers later.
Someday
I want to interpret the silent look of a friend, or my wife, or my parents, or a coworker, as simple thoughtfulness, or daydreaming, or quiet praise or … just silence. Not as I usually do, wondering if they’re disappointed in me, hurt by me, upset with me or angry at me. Like everyone has nothing to do other than think about me.
Someday
I want to be able to trust that those who love me are on my side, not trying to force me into their mold or to make me behave a certain way.
Someday
I want to look at the world, at everyone’s choices & preferences, without defaulting to criticism & judgment.
Someday
I want to look at my friends, my family and not assume that they are like me – always critical, always making judgments. I want to assume that they approve, or at least that they don’t disapprove.
Someday
I want my default mindset to be grace. Without having to think first. I want to easily trust. Without having to remind myself that I should.
Someday
Until then, I simply want the ability to live with my sinful, broken self as I am. To walk day to day without cringing at my every thought and action.
That seems hard enough, let alone making the journey to someday.

I’m still here ….

Sorry ’bout the silence, I’ve been busy with another project. I’m setting up a blog for my wife’s family to be able to share news, stories and pictures. It’s complicated by the need for privacy and ease of use for those unfamiliar with blogs (or even the internet), two things that are at odds with one another.
Anyway, that’s been taking up my online time of late. It’s nearly done and should go live in the next couple of days. That should mean that I need to spend less time on it, but that depends on how many problems surface as folks start using it. 🙂
I’m pretty proud of how it came together and how I worked around the privacy vs. easy issues, but since it’s private, I can’t show it to you. 😛
Hopefully I’ll get back to regular blogging soon.

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