Some Additional Thought on Church Discipline

This is a followup to my earlier thoughts on discipline in the church. While my earlier post were my thoughts prior to meeting with the rest of my church’s leadership group (deaons and ministers), the following is my summary of our collective thoughts. The idea was that we would be able to present something to the church, perhaps this paper, but we haven’t gotten back to it yet, so consider this still my own words and unfinished. However, Shrode at the Thinklings, had a good post on Church Discipline, so I thought I’d post this now.
Sin is all around us, we are confronted with it daily and in fact we commit it daily. We have a hard enough time dealing with our own sin, how are we to deal with the sin we see in the disciples around us? One answer would be not to, and that’s a popular one. “Don’t judge” is a common theme heard in Christian circles. But the Bible paints another picture. Ezekiel 33:1-9 speaks of the responsibility leaders (watchmen) have to warn people of the consequences of their sin. In many ways we are all watchmen over God’s people. I Corinthians 5 speaks directly to our responsibility to protect God’s church and to deal with sin in it, even telling us that it is our role to judge the church, contrary with popular wisdom.
There are two broad categories of sin we will encounter, sins committed against us and sins committed by others against others. Those others sinned against could be God, the church or other people. God, through the Bible, has given us guidelines for dealing with both situations. They are only guidelines, there’s no step by step process to fit every situation. God knew that every situation is unique and the people involved are unique too. So no simple formula could be devised to handle every thing. That’s not to say that there is no guidance in the scriptures on how we should handle sin, there is much. But we much approach each situation with love, humility, wisdom, forgiveness and discernment. All of these are so important; leaving one out can lead to a poor outcome. If we are not going in love, why are we going? If we go with out humility, we will not be open to being wrong about the situation, a very real possibility! We need wisdom and discernment to know what kind of sin we’re dealing with, how serious it is for those potentially exposed to it and if this is something that we can handle or should we get some help. Lastly forgiveness is perhaps our most important tool. With it we can focus on helping the sinner to change and we can overlook leaving out any of the other things.
Sin against us
This is the area where God has been the most specific. The Bible doesn’t say why, but I suspect that it is because this is the area that can get is in the most trouble. It’s personal and we are tempted to seek revenge or retribution rather than reconciliation and healing. Or perhaps we will let it destroy ourselves in bitterness and anger. God has another way, spelled out in Matthew 18:15-17. God says deal with it privately, between the two of you, if you can. If it’s still not resolved, bring in some others. Only if that isn’t effective should the church be involved. God’s way protects the sinner as he or she deals with their sin. Let them do so in private, telling only those they wish to. This shows love and respect for the sinner.
In the past we (corporately) may have been too quick to tell others about someone’s sin. Frankly, it’s gossip and the Bible has much to say against it (Proverbs 11:13, 20:19, 3 John 1:10). This sort of sharing paints a picture of that person that is etched in the mind of the hearer. Does Sam need to know that Fred struggles with pornography, even if your intention is to help Fred by getting advice or soliciting prayer from Sam? Is it beneficial for building up either Sam or Fred (Ephesians 4:29)? Now Sam’s image of Fred is unnecessarily polluted by the words that were spoken. Perhaps you think that Sam can help Fred deal with this sin. That may be, but the respectful and loving thing to do would be to ask Fred if he minds having Sam involved. Perhaps he would rather not tell Sam, but thinks that George might be of help. Then Fred gets help and feels loved and respected. It simply shows that you care.
God is saying here that when the sin is personal, we must deal with it personally. We do not want an environment where my sin, yours or another’s might be broadcast, even with good intentions, to others. There are times when these things cannot be resolved one on one. Then, the Bible says, it is appropriate to bring in another, but whom? It seems appropriate that the second or third brother or sister to be a neutral party, preferably someone each person agrees on. In the past we have treated this as a ‘climb the ladder of authority’ system that can create mistrust. If you won’t listen to me, we’ll get the bible talk leader or the zone leader to deal with you. Instead we should strive to create as neutral an environment as possible where everyone feels that they will be treated fairly. Only if that hasn’t worked, then both persons involved in confronting that person should come together to the church leadership and get them involved.
What if they refuse to listen to us? Matthew 18 says to treat them as a pagan or tax collector. The simple thing is to assume that meant they were shunned. Remembered, however, how Jesus treated the tax collectors. He ate with them (Matthew 9:9-13, Luke 5:27-32). He hung out with them (Matthew 11:19, Luke 15:1). He loved them. He didn’t necessarily call them his disciples, but he did not shun them and in His love, he influenced them (Luke 7:29). The world will abandon the one who sins against them. If we do the same, how will they be saved? If they deliberately refuse to repent, it is entirely appropriate that the church leadership ask them to leave the church for a time. That does not mean that we should shun these people, however. On the contrary, we should encourage the other disciples to serve them and love them, continuing to show them God’s love in spite of their sin. In 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15 Paul says that we are not to associate with men who do not obey, but also says to warn them like a brother, not an enemy. We can exclude them from our fellowship but should encourage people, especially those close to them, to maintain a relationship and love them even more. 1 Peter 4:8 reminds us to love each other above all else, because love covers a multitude of sins.
It’s also important to look at the context of this teaching on dealing with those who sin against us. Just before Jesus teaches the parable of the lost sheep and just after He talks of forgiveness. So this teaching on dealing with sin is within the context of a passionate search for one who is lost to bring him back to safety and the willingness to forgive over and over again. Keeping these things in mind will help us have a Godly mindset as we approach our brother or sister.
Sins against others
The Bible isn’t as specific in telling us how to deal with sin we see in others that is not against us. In these areas we must seek wisdom and discernment to know how to handle it properly. Biblical principles of love, forgiveness, avoiding gossip and respect that we’ve already spoken of should be our guides as we proceed. The guidelines in Matthew 18, though not binding in these situations, can be a good pattern to follow. Confront one on one first, then bring others and as a last resort bring them to the church. But this sort of slow, deliberate process is not always appropriate to the situation. Some sins have an immediate and devastating effect (sexual abuse or violence for example) or may have an impact on the church as a whole. Wisdom and discernment would dictate swift and decisive action in these situations that the pattern of Matthew 18 may not allow. Consider the situation carefully, are you certain that this is a matter of sin and not a ‘disputable matter’ (Romans 14)? Is this something you feel equipped to handle alone or do you need help? Is the situation of a corporate or public nature? Is it serious enough to demand it be dealt with publicly?
We must also remember the warnings of Ezekiel and our responsibility to watch over each other. When we see sin in our brother or sister that doesn’t involve us directly, it is very tempting to do nothing. But to fail to act, to not confront the sin we see in them, is selfish, not loving. It serves our desire for comfort, to avoid conflict and an uncomfortable situation rather than God’s desire for them to repent.
There are examples in the New Testament showing people dealing with the sins of others that we can look at..

Jesus, along with the religious leaders, confronts a woman caught in adultery in John 8:3-11. How humiliating to be publicly confronted on this sin, let alone be caught in the act! The leaders were focused on condemnation and judgment and Jesus reminds them of what they have in common with her, they are sinners too. Ironically, He is the only one to meet His standard of being without sin, yet He does not condemn her either. In this, Jesus reminds us to be humble as we confront the sins of others. Paul speaks of catching some one in sin in Galatians 6:1, urging ‘you who are spiritual’ to ‘restore them gently’. Isn’t that what Jesus did? The leaders were not acting spiritual, but in haste, anger and self righteousness.
In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul reprimands the church for the immorality of some of it’s members. Obviously, someone in the church had reported this in some detail to Paul so that it could be addressed by him, and he does so rather publicly. 2 Thessalonians 3 also refers to sins of the church reported to Paul, and dealt with in a public letter. We do not know the exact circumstances in which this information was presented to Paul, but Paul does not publicly condemn the sharing of it. There are times, when dealing with the sin of others against others, where it is entirely appropriate to bring it to attention of a leader, again in the spirit of love, respect and forgiveness.

What if we confront the sinner and they refuse to repent? Matthew 18, Titus 3:10 and 1 Corinthians 5 imply some sort of isolation from the sinner in extreme cases. Who makes such a call to withhold fellowship from the sinner? In some cases these can be self imposed, if you have a conviction about a person’s sin and lifestyle that will not allow you in good conscience to fellowship with them. In other cases, at the discretion of the appointed leadership of the church, it may be corporately imposed, as in 1 Corinthians 5. The goal there would be twofold, the protection of the church (v. 6) and the ultimate repentance and restoration of the sinner (v. 5). In either case, personal or church imposed, we must enter it in the same atmosphere of love, forgiveness and respect we’ve been talking about all along.
Conclusion
Our Lord told us that loving each other is the most important thing we can do outside of loving Him. We must remember the definitions of love in 1 Corinthians 13 when dealing with sin. It is patient and kind. It keeps no record of wrongs. It rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts and always perseveres. And love never fails. I am convinced that an atmosphere of love, which must be free of hurtful and damaging gossip, will set us up to truly help people be victorious over their sin. That is the goal, isn’t it?

A Near Perfect Saturday

Today was about as perfect as a Saturday can get. A great blend of hard work, family time, fun and good weather.
To start, it was sunny and about 50 degrees. February in Ohio doesn’t often get better than that. We started our day with breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Eating out is always fun, but breakfast out is really special.
When we got home, I got started putting together a little wall cabinet Maria bought a couple of months ago for the kid’s bathroom. Who knew that a cabinet that cost, like, $20 could consist of so many pieces. Over 30 I think, plus screws, latches, etc. It was nice to get something done that had been waiting for a while, and before Maria asked me when I was going to get to it. 🙂 It was also an excuse to use my laser level and new Fat Max tape measure I got for Christmas.
After that, I took advantage of the good weather to climb up on the roof and take down the rest of the Christmas lights. I hate climbing on the roof, especially getting close to the edge to do the lights. The sun and warm temps made it a little more bearable.
Since the weather was good and I was on a roll, I went out and picked up a new mailbox to replace our old, rusty, door-less mailbox. I got one of those rotomolded ones from Step2. It was a simple matter of getting out my Ryobi cordless reciprocating saw and cutting the old one off and bolting the new to the remaining 4×4. It took all of a half an hour. Emily (7 1/2) came outside after I had cut the old one off. She said “Daddy, you cut down the mailbox! How’d you do that?” “I used my saw.” “Daddy, you’re awesome.” I love my kids.
After that, we all piled in the van and went to see “Racing Stripes”. A cute movie and the first one we’ve seen in a theater since Nemo. I can remember going to see movies as a family when I was a kid. It was fun, I always got Milk Duds. Those were different days. With no DVD’s, no VCR’s and no cable (at least for us), if it didn’t get seen at the theater, it didn’t get seen. Now we get the DVD at the library and watch it 3 times (plus deleted scenes, bloopers and commentaries) before returning it.
We got home, got the girls showered and grilled steaks for supper.
All in all, I couldn’t ask for more.

Upgrade Complete

Well that wasn’t as painful as I had feared. I was expecting something to go wrong, but it didn’t.
So I’m creating this on MT 3.15. I’m geek enough to get excited about a new software release – woo-hoo! So far, there are a couple of pretty nifty enhancements:

  • The ability to list, sort and mass delete comments adn trackbacks. Trackbacks can be filtered by title, source or excerpt. Comments by email, name or IP.
  • A button in the new entry window for creating a blockquote. That will be very handy.
  • The email notification of comments includes a clickable link to the coment edit screen within MT. Should be very handy for deleting the occasional manually entered spam comment. I’m assuming that the trackback notification works the same way.
  • Of course, there’s a spiffy new GUI too.
  • Oh, and the familiar Italics button creates an ’em’ tag instead of the old ‘i’. I wonder why. It seems to look the same.

So far pretty cool. I haven’t dug into the ability to dynamically create pages, a la WordPress, or how to set up the TypeKey registration stuff. Not sure I’ll bother with that though. The biggie was quickly getting rid of those 220+ trackback spams.

Upgrade Time

Well, sometime in the next few dys I’m going to upgrate my MT installation to version 3.15. If you happen by in hte middle of the process, don’t be surprised if things aren’t right. I’ll be backing everything up, of course, so I can put it back if I seriously break it. There will probably be a period where posting comments won’t work as I’ll need to re-instal a newer version of the Scode plug in after I upgrade.
Wish me luck.

In Jeruselem

John 7:2-53, John 8:1-11
John 7:32 – I can see my self acting like these Pharisees. Thinking I was the one to lead the people, protect them for being mislead about God I would do just what they did. I’d put up with Jesus for a time, but when he started leading the people ‘astray’ – them thinking he was the Christ – then enough would be enough. It would be time to act to protect the people. Of course, just as it was for them, it would be my pride acting to protect my authority and position as much as anything. My pride in thinking I know how the Christ will be that would keep me from making a real attempt to understand Jesus. I can see how easy it would be to be deceived. And it is today. We brush off folks that don’t think or act like we do, even pouncing on them if the become ‘dangerous’. Is there a need to protect from heretics? I suppose, but all too often they aren’t heretics we just don’t understand them and haven’t taken the time to try to.
John 8:1-11 – I love this story, even if it’s not a part of ‘the most reliable manuscripts’. Lots of folks have wondered what Jesus was writing. I have a theory about that that was told to me several years ago. Well, not about what he was writing, but why he was writing. Examine the circumstances here. It was shortly after dawn (v. 2) when the teachers brought this woman in and she was ‘caught in the act’ (v. 4). Isn’t it likely that she was caught the night before, perhaps even hours before? If so, isn’t it likely that she was, lets say, sparsely clothed? If so, I would say that Jesus stooped to write on the ground for two simple reasons.
One, out of respect for this woman’s privacy. The teachers had none, they were more concerned about trapping Jesus than justice (Where was the man?) or respect for her. I think that Jesus would have felt for her being dragged out in public with little on, made a spectical of and used as a pawn in someone else’s ego trip.
Two, Jesus would want to avoid the temptation to lust and looking at a scantily clad woman would not be prudent. Nor would it set an example for those gathered around to learn from him.
Speculation? You bet, but it sounds plausible to me. 🙂

A Chance to Apologize

Friends of our gave us a new bed and desk for our oldest daughter. It was a set of that frilly white furniture with gold trim, complete with canopy bed (but missing the canopy.) Jessica’s thrilled. After getting it all set up, I loaded her old bed into the Odyssey to take it to the Volunteers of AmericaThrift Store near us. It was about 8:00 PM as I drove into the lot and backed up to the door. The lot was kinda empty so I checked the printing on the door to be sure they were still open. Yep, M-F until 9:00. I flipped up the tailgate to unload and an employee stepped out to gather up the carts in the lot. He informed me that, sorry, he was locking up.
“But it says that you’re open until 9:00.”
“They’re closing early at 8:00 for a couple of weeks.” (I later noticed a paper sign taped to the door).
“So, I can’t even just drop this off?” I made sure my tone indicated how silly that would be. After all, the donations just get set just inside the door that was less than 10 feet from where I was standing. It would only take a second, surely he would oblige.
“Actually, we’re not supposed to take donations past 30 minutes before closing.”
“Really?” My tone had gone from irritated past annoyed strait to angry condescension.
“Sorry.”
“Hmph!” I made a big show of stomping to my van and put all 210 horse power to use across the parking lot. I’m sure that impressed him.
So the next day I made another go at it. It was 7:30-ish as I headed back to VOA. It was then I realized that I may have to face this guy again. Thinking back I felt pretty foolish about the way I had acted and even worse about how I had treated him. This guy was not the sharpest guy in the world. I mean no insult there, it’s just an observation, more a commentary on how folks probably view him. He works at the VOA thrift store and he had a stutter or some other speech impediment. He had long stringy hair and walked slouched over. He probably gets overlooked and treated like dirt all the time. So along comes some middle class white guy dumping his unwanted belongings off and gives him flak. Yikes.
So I pull up, just like before and jump out to unload. And just like before, he shuffles out the door to get the carts. Darn, I was hoping to avoid him. That’s when the voice in my head says “You should apologize.” The thought makes me uncomfortable, I just want to drop off my stuff and go. We exchange hello’s and I unload my stuff. I’m getting done and he’s coming back to the building, meaning I have another chance. I kow I should but it would mean admiting I was wrong. He might think I’m weird. He might yell at me. It’s just awkward. While I’m doing my mental gymnastics trying to avoid doing the good I ought to do, he makes it inside and I’m off the hook.
I walk to the car, disappointed in myself. Why was that so hard to do? I missed an opportunity to right a wrong, to deal with a hurt I had caused. I’m pathetic.
I buckle up and as I begin to drive away, I notice he’s coming back out. I stop and back up, rolling my window down. He walks over to the van.
“I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you last night.”
“That’s OK, I get that kind of thing all the time.”
“Well, that doesn’t make it right and I’m sorry.”
“Well, uh, that’s OK … Thanks for your apology.”
“You’re welcome, have good night.”
“You too.”
I left the lot with less authority this time but feeling much more like Jesus. I hope my actions gave him as big a smile and brought him as much peace as it did me.

Trackback Spam

Holy smokes, I’ve been hit!
My comment spam ‘secret code’ filter is working like a charm – no spam in weeks, but now they’ve decided to spam through trackback. The other day I had two new trackback pings on older entries, both spam. This morning I had 135, all spam. Yikes. So, later today I’ll be deleting away, but it will take a while. Just be aware – I do not endorse any online gambling sites (or whatever else may be there.) 🙂
In some ways these are less intrusive – they aren’t little adds for questionable things lurking in the comments of my posts. But they are certainly painful (you have to delete them one at a time) and I’m not sure what can be done about them. I’ve seen lots of strategies for dealing with comment spam, but none that I remember for trackbacks. Any ideas?
UPDATE: They’re still rolling in – 45 more while I was typing this. Argh. Anyone know how to globally turn off trackback in MT 2.661?

On This Day

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Categories

Archives

Meta