That title ought to get you reading. A couple of news stories have got me thinking about this. The first is the California Supreme Court decision that the Mayor of San Francisco acted out of line in granting same-sex marriages. The second is the recent announcement that the governor of New Jersy stepping down because of an extra-marital affair with another man.
In the first story the Mayor, of course, portayed himself as a crusader for civil rights, standing up for the oppressed. Nevermind that California state law explicitly states that a marriage is between a man and a wonan. The mayor clearly was flaunting the law. What got me thinking was the idea that this was a civil rights issue. That only holds water only if you consider being gay to be a human characteristic, in the same category as things like being black, hispanic or a woman. To me that’s a bit of a leap. I understand that to those who identify themselves as gay it seems that’s just how they are, but I’m not aware that there has been any evidence that supports the idea that folks just are gay. In fact many folks become gay later in life or stop being gay. No one ever stopped being black (Micheal Jackson excepted) and very few have stopped being women (and even then they must continue to take hormones becasue their bodies don’t know that they aren’t women anymore). We grant civil rights to people based on the unchangeable characteristics of who they are, not based on their preferences or tastes.
It was with this in mind that the story of the NJ Governor, a twice married man and father, came out. Setting aside for a minute what his actual intentions might be (I’m not even sure waht they are, haven’t looked into it), let’s assume for a moment that he is ashamed of his homosexual behavior and desires to change and save his marriage and family. It struck me that he might, in the same way a clean alcoholic still considers himself an alcoholic, may feel like he is gay. He may get counciling and treatment and stop his sinful behavior, but, just like the alcoholic still craves a drink, he may still be drawn to that life. Perhaps he stays ‘clean’ for as long as he lives, but in his mind he’s still ‘gay’.
In the church, perhaps we should not, then, be so quick to dismiss the idea of the ‘gay Christian’ any more that we dismiss the idea of the ‘alcoholic Christian’, the ‘addict Christian’, the ‘lustful Chritian’ or the ‘liar Christian’. We are all recovered or transformed from something, and are likely still are drawn to it today to some degree. The alcoholic longs for his drink, the liar is tempted to decieve, the lustful craves that look and the gay man or woman desires the same sex. As long as we not remaining in that life, but fighting against its call, we are still His. We do not celebrate that of which we are now ashamed nor to we accept or tolerate it. But we cannot refuse admitance to God’s family or shun anyone because one has this particular sinful leaning. In doing so aren’t we much like the Pharasee in Matthew 18:9-14? Jesus criticized him for looking down his nose at the tax collector and He praised the tax collector for his humility. God accepts us all, in spite of our sinful leanings, if we submit to Him and not to those leanings. We should do the same.

It’s been a while since I posted about the changes afoot in my church. Time for an update.
I wish I could say that it has been just wonderful, smooth sailing into unity. If I did, you’d all know I was lying anyway because nothing of any importance can be done by a group without some hard times. People are just different, and those differences take some ironing out in order to work as a team. I am happy to report that it has not been comletely discouraging either. It been an up and down time, but mostly we’re making progress.
Of the three commitments we made at that first meeting, we’ve kept the first two fairly well. We’ve met every other week and talked about the church. (OK, one week we spoke briefly and then went to see Spiderman II.) We’re getting to know one another, and learning how to work together. It’s much harder than it sounds. It’s amazing how we can make a plan of action for the coming weeks and each of us understand that plan differently. It’s taking a lot of openess and honesty and understanding to come together. That can be both exhausting and intimidating. I was encouraged one evening as I hesitated to share what might come across as hurtful or negative. One of the brothers said something like, “Just say it. If we can’t just speak our minds here, we should give up now.” Amen to that. So to sum it up, one day it’s great, we’re forging a bond and becoming unifies. The next, we’ve misunderstood each other or stepped on toes or acted inconsiderately or without consultation of the group and it hurts. But we’re pressing on.
The most encouraging thing has been the meetings with the members. We paired up and each pair took a region. My cohort and I have met with 6 – 8 couples and a couple of individuals in the last 2 months. I tell you, I did not realize how draining it could be adding in 2-3 two hour appointments into my week. It’s worn me out. But the encouragement I’ve recieved from them has been fantastic. Not that they’ve all felt great about the church, some did but most had some concerns. No major ones for us yet. But they’ve all been very encouraged that we were coming out to do meet with them. Even more encouraging to me, was the changes we have seen in people as a result of our meeting. we did not set out to challenge people to change, nor have we. But in more that one case, on their own, people have initiated changes that they had spoken of in our meeting. For example, one brother said he’d been meaning to have more people in his home and the week after our meeting he hosted a cookout after church. To see people inspired to do something on their own is so encouraging to me.
It’s also helped me see the needs of the church more clearly, exactly what it was intended to do. Going in I had a thought that the biggest need was relationships. We’ve heard a fair bit about relationships, but just as much about a lack of discipling and challenging going on. What I’ve learned is that people don’t want just relationships, they want challenging relationships. They long to be kept on the narrow road. This was somewhat surprising to me, but it shouldn’t have been. Isn’t that what I want too? Isn’t that the reason I’ve been lamenting my own lack of relationships?
We’ve still a long way to go, but we’re getting there. Along the way, the brother that I’ve been teamed up with and I are building the kind of relationship that I’ve longed for. He’s been there for me when I’ve felt like giving up, listening and encouraging. He’s been just what I needed. I hope that doesn’t mean he’s about to leave too. 🙂