Rethinking Legal Definitions of Marriage

Scott posted this on his Facebook page a couple of days ago. It’s a pretty thought provoking take on the passing of California’s ban on same sex marriages and well worth 6 minutes or so of your time. California isn’t the first state to pass this, Ohio did a few years ago (which I voted for) and many other states have as well. For some reason California’s passage is getting more attention than I remember other states votes getting. Maybe it’s because if any state would vote against it it would be California.
As I said, I voted for the Ohio amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. I stand by that assertion, though not necessarily that vote anymore. I’m not entirely sure, frankly.
I am sure of what God says marriage to be in scripture. Man and Woman. Nowhere does God indicate that folks of the same sex should get married. All examples of marriage in scripture are of men and women. God treats that relationship as special and has given married folks something special, sex, that they and only they are to enjoy. God has said that sex is not for unmarried people and it is not for people of the same sex. There’s really no way around that in scripture. So the clear implication, if not explicit instruction, is that marriage is a man-woman thing.
It is certainly within the rights of a people, be it a state or nation, to pass laws defining terms and legal entities. We can define marriage to be whatever we want it to be, but whatever we say has no bearing on what God says. Does the state have an interest in defining marriage? I suppose it does, but the extent that its interests align with Gods is mostly coincidence. By promoting placing that authority in the state, what statement is the Christian making? When the state’s interest no longer aligns with God’s, and in fact interferes and stands in the way of Godly marriages (as opposed to simple allowing marriages that God would not), what then will the Christian do? After all, we’ve already validated the state’s authority in this matter.
Is it wrong to vote for or promote these measures? No, but neither is it wrong to oppose them. God’s definitive opinion is not changed or harmed either way.
Were if to come up for vote again, I’m not so sure I’d vote for it now. What are your thoughts?

Real Change

Dan at Cerulean Sanctum as a thought provoking post on the election. Go read it for an interesting take on how the Obama victory was a victory for truth, just not the truth that most white Christians were focused on. He’s dead on there.
But I want to focus on these nuggets:

The Republican Party has done next to nothing for born-again Christians…
…yet we continue to mindlessly suck at its teat.
… the devotion to the GOP continues to not only bite us but show us as not all that dedicated to our principles.
… We look like sheep in the end. And not the Lord’s sheep, but GOP sheep. Baa on all of us. It’s the old case of fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

I voted republican for a variety of reasons. The big reason I didn’t seriously consider Obama was his stand on abortion. It’s a deal breaker issue, and rightfully so. If we will not stand up for those with, literally, no voice, who will?
But as I watched the campaign unfold and I saw Obama motivate folks that usually don’t participate, as I saw him speak decisively of hope in tough times (much like Reagan did in 1980) and I watched the McCain campaign focus on why Obama is bad and draw lines in the sand with good on one side and evil (and Obama) on the other, I wondered if I was on the right team.
I’ve never been a partisan cheerleader, but I’ve voted Republican nearly every election. I’ve seen many Christians look down on those who’d pull any other lever than the one with the R next to it. (Frankly, I saw the same in a few Obama supporting Christians this time too.) But the Republicans are not Jesus, in fact, I see a lot of Jesus in the Democrats, maybe more than the Republicans.
Are evangelicals willing to step back and see that their marriage to the Republican party has benefited the party much, much more than the cause of Christ (if it was benefited at all)? Will the supporters of Obama learn that lesson and not plant Christ’s flag next to his?
Dan goes on to say this:

The only “Change We Can Believe In” is Jesus Christ. Neither the Republicans nor Democrats offer real change. Anything or anyone else that gets billed as change is a lie.
If want to to see our land healed, then we do what Jesus Christ told us to do in the Great Commission: We make disciples.
Because a nation right with God only comes about through the transformation of human lives by Jesus Christ. And that happens when you and I do the one thing so few of us care to do.
Politics is easy. It takes very little to put up a sign in our yard announcing our choice in candidates.
Evangelizing the world is much tougher, especially in a post-Christian West that has been inoculated against the Gospel by Christians who talk a good faith but who live it haphazardly. Heart change only comes, though, when Christians stop talking about evangelism and actually start doing it. It’s when our walk matches our talk. When our rhetoric matches the Bible and is lived out before the world, then people might sit up and take notice. We have to stop dedicating so much time to erecting our individual kingdoms and spend more time working with the Lord to build His Kingdom His way.

That is absolutely the truth and truth that I often fail at. Championing your favorite candidate may improve the nation a bit or make it worse. It’s not insignificant, but it will not transform the lives of your neighbors or coworkers. We forget that Jesus’ plan was never to bring salvation through systematic change in governance or organizations. Instead he planned that each of us would have the power to transform lives through our submission, obediance, example and witness.
Obama or McCain can not enhance or hinder that. It is of God, effective regardless of the circumstance or power structure. It worked in Christian hostile Rome, it works in the underground churches of China and it works in the USA.
Do we believe that?

Out of the Mouths of Babes …

On the way home from the harvest party tonight we were listening to Casting Crowns and the song While You Were Sleeping came on. It’s about how Jesus came into the world while Bethlehem (verse 1) and then Jerusalem (verse 2) slept and missed the savior. Each verse ends with the phrase “you will go down in history / As a city with no room for its King” and the girls wanted to know what that meant, so I explained how it meant that they would be remembered for missing Jesus.
Verse 3 is directed to America:

United States of America
Looks like another silent night
As we’re sung to sleep by philosophies
That save the trees and kill the children
And while we’re lying in the dark
There’s a shout heard ‘cross the eastern sky
For the Bridegroom has returned
And has carried His bride away in the night, in the night
America, what will we miss while we are sleeping
Will Jesus come again
And leave us slumbering where we lay
America, will we go down in history
As a nation with no room for its King
Will we be sleeping
Will we be sleeping

They didn’t understand why it now spoke to America, which I can understand. After all, Jesus never came here at all. I explained that the writer saw in America a lot of things that weren’t what God wanted, America wasn’t following God or obeying His commands.
To which Audrey (9) blurted out, emphatically:

Well, we’ve gotta stop it!

I wish the written word could convey her tone. It was not a judgmental decree for the righteous to stand against the evil ones. Instead it was the simple declaration of a child that if we’re not following God, well, we should just stop it!
Yep.

Jared’s 95 Theses

The soon-to-be-published Jared at the Gospel Driven Church today launched a 5 day series in which he posts his own 95 theses for the American church, 19 per day. Today’s theme was discipleship and here are a few of them:

5. The American Christian takes for granted the convenience of the availability of God’s revelation in the Holy Scriptures. [salguod: I too often resemble this one, which makes #6 & #7 that much more painful to read.]
14. The Christian in the American Christian ought to affirm and embrace the cost of discipleship, but the American in the American Christian hesitates to deny himself because Self is his highest value.
16. … The American Christian’s schedule and routines reflect he believes his days belong to himself and not to God.

Good stuff. If you’re not a regular reader of Jared’s blog, I suspect this series will be a great intro into why you should be.

Encourage Your Pastor

Saw this on Jared’s most excellent blog (which will definitely get a link once I get my blogroll issues sorted out) last night. He lists some sad facts on what the burdens of ministry are doing to pastors. They’re leaving the ministry, they feel inadequate, they’re depressed and burdened.
Think about it. They’re the one that gets called when a marriage is in crisis. They’re the one that gets called when a member is sick or dying. They’re the one that gets called when someone doesn’t like what’s going on. They’re the one that gets called when someone is in sin. They have to deal with the demons in the church. They’re the one that deals with all of those messes and more.
How often do you call or email just to encourage? Just to say that you support them and their work? Not because they did something specific that moved or impacted you (by all means, call then too), but just because?
A good friend of mine stepped into the role of minister, temporarily, after theirs resigned. He and another brother decided to fill that role for the short time while they searched for a replacement. A short time turned into about 2 years, I think. Shortly after they finally hired someone new and he could step back, his comment was “I am so grateful for the folks we hired over the years to deal with that mess so I didn’t have to.” A little negative view, sure, but revealing as to what your minister deals with on a regular basis.
In the history of this blog, I’ve been critical of my denomination (I bet they hate me saying that, but that’s what we are) and of my local church fairly often. I’ve been critical of my minister specifically at times as well. What I haven’t done enough of, is tell you how much we are blessed to have Doug Geyer lead us. Is he flawed? Of course, but he’s also humble, determined, and passionate about the church. He doesn’t feed us what we want, he gives us what we need. He points us to God and illuminates His Son to us. He longs to grow and to see us grow. He makes me think and stretches me spiritually. I’m grateful that he’s there.
Your pastor deals with the bad stuff. The least you can do is hold up his arms a bit. Call him. Encourage him.

God Calling

My two oldest daughters, Emily 11 & Jessica 13, are at that self realization stage in their lives. It’s a challenging time, they’re figuring out who they are and who they aren’t and what they can become. As their ages would suggest, they are in different places in this journey, but at the same time similar. In some ways the younger one seems to be rushing headlong into the fray while her older sister proceeds with caution.
A few weeks ago, after a particularly challenging evening, I was talking with the 13 year old and I asked her why she had acted as she did that night. Her response, through tears, was “I don’t know! I don’t know why I do half the things I do anymore!” Her frustration and confusion was palpable. Ah yes, welcome to puberty. 😀
Her younger sister has always been the tough one. I’ve written about her struggles as she approaches puberty before and they continue. The nature of her personality – driven, fearless, outgoing, selfish – means she gets in more trouble than the others. She’s not a bad kid, not hardly, but she just rushes in headlong and before she knows it, she’s busted. At times, in the evening after a particularly tough day, she lays in her bed and cries. “Why am I this way?” she asks. It’s hard for an 11 year old to understand why she seems inclined to sin. Of course, she doesn’t see the more subtle, but not less serious, ways her sisters sin, to her God made her worse than they.
Different questions, but both rooted in the bigger question of “Who am I?” My answer to both, at least in part, is the same.
Pay attention, God’s calling you.
I told them both that this is God showing you that you need Him. In their failures, God is watching (I wonder if their loss of innocence breaks His heart as it does mine?) and He’s waiting for them to realize that they can’t make it on their own. He’s calling them in their inadequacies. The answer is not for them to work harder to be different. Although that’s needed, it’s not going to ultimately fix the problem. Try as they may, they’ll never make themselves into the person that they want to be, let alone the person that God wants them you to be. No, I believe that in this common struggle, God is there, knowing that He has the cure, calling their names, hoping they’ll respond.
“Emily, you need me to make it though. You cannot do it alone, you will continue to fail. I can help you do it, in fact I’ve already done it for you.”
“Jessica, without me you are nothing. You aren’t who think you are, you don’t even know who you are. But I know who you are and what I can make you.”
My goal isn’t to make them into better people as much as it is to point out the voice of God calling to them and help them to hear it and by listening, to be transformed. Because I know personally that all the hard work in the world does little but prove how inadequate I am. It wasn’t until I dropped my fight and turned to Him that I found peace with my self. If they will hear Him calling, drop their own fights to be better and follow Him, then he will make them better.
It’s a lesson that I still need to remember all too frequently.

Love Never Fails

Sunday’s Columbus Dispatch had the first part of a heartbreaking story about neglected little girl named Danielle. Neglected? No, ignored. Nearly seven years old, likely never seen the sun, never hugged, never shown any affection. Still in diapers, living in a closet, surrounded by filth, roaches and a 4 foot pile of dirty diapers. Heartbreaking, anger inducing, words fail:

The police officers walked through the front door, into a cramped living room.
“I’ve been in rooms with bodies rotting there for a week and it never stunk that bad,” Holste said later. “There’s just no way to describe it. Urine and feces — dog, cat and human excrement — smeared on the walls, mashed into the carpet. Everything dank and rotting.”

Read part one Sunday about what she was like when she was found and where she was found and how, because of the lack of affection and attention, the doctors’ big hope was that she’d learn to sleep through the night and feed herself. You should also read today’s part three as well. It’s the sad story about who her mother was (her IQ is “borderline range of intellectual ability.”) and how she still doesn’t understand why her daughter was taken away. “Part of me died that day,” she says.
What I really want to point you to is yesterday’s part two, inspiring story of the family who found her and believed in her in a way that no one else did.
The lead in is the decision by Luanne Panacek, executive director of the Children’s Board of Hillsborough County to put the girl’s picture among many others as kids needing adoption.”Who, Panacek wondered, would choose an 8-year-old who was still in diapers, who didn’t know her own name and might not ever speak or let you hug her?”
Bernie and Diane were at Gameworks, looking for a girl to adopt. A older girl, but younger than their 9 year old son. Through the chaos at Gameworks that night, they caught sight of a picture of Danielle:

Diane stepped out of the chaos, into an alcove beneath the stairs. That was when she saw it. A little girl’s face on a flier, pale with sunken cheeks and dark hair chopped too short. Her brown eyes seemed to be searching for something.
Diane called Bernie over. He saw the same thing she did. “She just looked like she needed us.”

Despite learning all of Danielle’s many and serious issues, they went to meet her:

Diane walked over and spoke to her softly. Danielle didn’t seem to notice. But when Bernie bent down, Danielle turned toward him and her eyes seemed to focus.
He held out his hand. She let him pull her to her feet. Danielle’s teacher, Kevin O’Keefe, was amazed; he hadn’t seen her warm up to anyone so quickly.
Bernie led Danielle to the playground, she pulled sideways and pranced on her tiptoes. She squinted in the sunlight but let him push her gently on the swing. When it was time for them to part, Bernie swore he saw Danielle wave.
That night, he had a dream. Two giant hands slid through his bedroom ceiling, the fingers laced together. Danielle was swinging on those hands, her dark eyes wide, her thin arms reaching for him.

They brought her home Easter weekend, 2007. It was a disaster at first, she wouldn’t sleep she threw tantrum after tantrum, she couldn’t even hold a crayon. Everyone told them they were crazy, but they wouldn’t be deterred. “So what if Danielle is not everything we hoped for, Bernie and Diane answered. You can’t pre-order your own kids. You take what God gives you.” Despite months of severe challenges as her caretakers, they officially adopted her last October. They gave her the name Dani.
And they proceeded to love her, like she – literally – had never been loved before.

Bernie and Diane were told to put Dani in school with profoundly disabled children, but they insisted on different classes because they believe she can do more. They take her to occupational and physical therapy, to church and the mall and the grocery store. They have her in speech classes and horseback-riding lessons.
Once, when Dani was trying to climb onto her horse, the mother of a boy in the therapeutic class turned to Diane.
“You’re so lucky,” Diane remembers the woman saying.
“Lucky?” Diane asked.
The woman nodded. “I know my son will never stand on his own, will never be able to climb onto a horse. You have no idea what your daughter might be able to do.”

Bernie and Diane had a son, about a year older than Dani, when they adopted her. Her doctor says having someone close in age around the house s invaluable for her development. How does William feel about his older sister and the extra attention she gets?

William says Dani frightened him at first. “She did weird things.” But he always wanted someone to play with. He doesn’t care that she can’t ride bikes with him or play Monopoly. “I drive her around in my Jeep and she honks the horn,” he says. “She’s learning to match up cards and stuff.”
He couldn’t believe she had never walked a dog or licked an ice-cream cone. He taught her how to play peek-a-boo, helped her squish Play-Doh through her fingers. He showed her it was safe to walk on sand and fun to blow bubbles and OK to cry; when you hurt, someone comes. He taught her how to open a present. How to pick up Tater Tots and dunk them into ketchup.
William was used to living like an only child, but since Dani has moved in, she gets most of their parents’ attention. “She needs them more than me,” he says simply.
He gave her his old toys, his “kid movies,” his board books. He even moved out of his bedroom so she could sleep upstairs. His parents painted his old walls pink and filled the closet with cotton-candy dresses.
They moved a daybed into the laundry room for William, squeezed it between the washing machine and Dani’s rocking horse. Each night, the 10-year-old boy cuddles up with a walkie-talkie because “it’s scary down here, all alone.”
He trades his walkie-talkie for a small stuffed Dalmatian and calls down the hall, “Good night, Mom and Dad. Good night, Dani.”
Some day, he’s sure, she will answer.

Here was a girl that perhaps should have died, was rescued only to face a likely life in institutions. The folks in her life held very modest expectations for her, she would survive but little more.
But one woman took a small chance – take a picture and put it on a poster and maybe … And two simple people with simple ambitions were paying attention when God was calling and gave of themselves beyond what they expected that they could. They have been the hands of Jesus to this little girl when the rest of us would have likely clenched our fists in anger at the injustice and wept at the tragedy – but then went on home.
Because they loved her, now she’s riding a horse, playing at the beach and feeding herself. She’s learning and growing. Who knows what she may become – because they loved her.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

UPDATE (8/17): Dani’s family has a website where you can contribute to Dani’s care and send a message of support. There’s also a link to the original article in the St. Petersburg Times where you’ll find a slide show. Lastly, read the article on the response to Dani’s story and an update on how she’s doing:

The Heart Gallery of Tampa Bay, which found an adoptive family for Danielle, is receiving 2,000 hits a day on its Web site, up from the usual 500, said Carolyn Eastman of the Children’s Board of Hillsborough County. The Heart Gallery has also received 100 e-mails and 80 phone calls from people commenting on the story or inquiring about adopting a child.

Imagine if just one more child gets adopted that otherwise wouldn’t have … all because they decided to love.

Steven Curtis Chapman Speaks

I don’t know if it’s the first thing since the accident that took his daughter’s life or not, but Steven Curtis Chapman went on Larry King Live (of all places) with his family and he’s written an editorial for cnn.com.
Go watch the video (But don’t make the mistake I did of doing so at work. Men aren’t supposed to cry at their desks.) and learn how it happened and how their family got through it, well at least this far. I was seriously impressed how the Will’s older brother instinctively took care of him after the accident. Also, take note of how Will addresses Larry King, even as Larry asks him about the hardest day of his young life.
The article talks little of that day, instead it’s a call for all of us Christians to support orphans. Steven notes “Through all that we’ve experienced, one thing we still know is true: God’s heart is for the orphan.” The Chapman’s have 3 adopted daughters form China in addition to their 3 birth children. What’s interesting is the role their birth daughter, then 12, played in getting them to adopt:

Nine years ago, my wife and my eldest daughter, Emily, traveled to Haiti on a mission trip. Having been exposed to extreme poverty for the first time, Emily returned home with a determined passion to make a difference in the lives of at-risk children.
Only 12 years old, Emily went on an all-out campaign to persuade us to adopt. She bought a book on international adoption with her Christmas money and would read it to us regularly. She began fervently praying and writing letters to Mary Beth and me, encouraging us to consider giving a waiting child a home. Emily knew God was leading us in the direction of adoption; however, Mary Beth and I were not yet convinced.

People wonder where God is in events like this. I do too, and I have no answers to that age old question, but one thing I do see. God was in that family. When tragedy happens to families focused on God, God is revealed. Seeing their family cling to one another and support each other and to hear Steven speak out still passionately for adoption shows the impact that God had on their lives. They were in a unique position to display God to many folks through this tragedy, and they have. Did God target them because of that? I don’t know and would say not. None the less, they targeted God to be honored through it, even if they can’t say what His role was in it.
HT: Brant’s Blog of Awesomeness

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