You may remember (or not) back on January 18th, in my blog about Hebrews 12-13, a brother named Neil from the Rio Grande Valley International Church of Christ asked me to contact him about his brother:

please contact me asap or send to my way some Dayton, Ohio disciples of Jesus that you can vouch for or preferably both – my brother is near there and he is hurting but trying; especially in light of your 18 January quiet time.
thanks bro

I had no idea who this Neil guy was (still don’t really, other than he’s my brother and he lives in Texas. That’s enough. :-D), but I emailed him to find out what was up. It turns out he found my site through a Google search for sites that link to Disciples Today. Huh, how about that. I don’t even read DT that much anymore. 😀
It turns out his brother, just like he said, is hurting and seeking. As Neil put it in an email…

he knows God is trying to show him some stuff this last year, he even had a real long prayer walk in the rain in the middle of the night a few months back

You know a guy’s searching for God when he takes a long walk, in the dark and in the rain just to pray. Neil had tried to get in touch with Dayton COC folks, but had no luck. So I contacted my old college roommate who lives in Dayton and helps lead the Dayton Church of Christ. I put him in touch with Neil and that was that.
Fast forward to two Sundays ago. I find Neil’s email in my inbox doing some email house cleaning and I decide to see what’s up. I knew from an earlier email that Joel (his brother) had come out to a couple of things, but that was all I’d heard. Neil responds pretty quickly:

well, brother thanks so much for asking your timing is impeccable and God’s grace is infinite, he was just baptized into Christ within the hour

I’ll be honest, at first I didn’t know what to think. Really? Wow. (It turns out he emailed that from Dayton, just after the baptism. Had I known, I’d have been there.) As it sinks in, I can’t help smiling and telling folks about it. This silly little self indulgent past time of blogging actually made an eternal difference for someone. Sure, my contribution was pretty minor, but without it the rest wouldn’t have happened.
There’s a lot more to the story, but I only know snippets. Maybe Neil will drop by and fill in some more. Besides, salguod.net + Google = redemption is cool enough.

These are my notes from the parenting workshop last weekend, mostly unedited. Listen to the message here.
Walter & Kim Evans
Walter
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Books/DVD:

• The Wonder Years
• The Age of Opportunity
• Parenting With Kingdom Purpose
• Effective Parenting in a Defective World

We are at world with the world for our children. Things have changed since we were kids and we don’t even know how much.
Rev. 12:7-9, 16-17
Don’t fight with our kids, fight for them.
——————-
——————-
The Disengaged Parent
——————-
——————-
1 Sam 2:12, 22-25
Eli seems like the worn and weary parent.
(v. 25)
Walter
——————-
“We want our kids to be at their worst while at home.”
Make the home the hub for the kids activity.
Kim
——————-
If we aren’t wrestling with Satan, he’s winning.
“Mom (Gemple) would pray to catch us sinning.”
Don’t make them into what we want them to be, help them to be what God has called them to be.
If they love God just like me, will that be OK? Or are we hoping they’d be like we used to be?
Walter
——————-
1 Sam 2:29
This is how Eli got where he was. Honoring kids before God.
——————-
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Ambitious but Absent Parent
——————-
——————-
2 Sam 13:23-25
Walter
——————-
I wonder if Absalom longed to talk to Dad about what he was planning?
(Minivan radio trick)
Kim
——————-
More trouble between 3-6.
Keep a pulse on what’s going on. It’s harder as time goes on.
We have got to be there, engaged.
Be the ones that your kid’s friends can talk to.
——————-
——————-
Trying but tested
——————-
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Luke 2:41-45
Walter
——————-
The didn’t know where he was for a whole day!
We’re in the game, but we’re missing some of the signs.
This where we help each other out. “By the way, brother, I noticed this.”
It does take a village (not to quote a pres candidate 😀 ).
(how towns in the west started)
Kim
——————-
I’m convinced that parents are some of the most insecure Christians. More so as they get older.
Your doing your best and someone points something out and it’s hard not to react.
Pray that God would show you what you need.
Check up on your kids “It’s not you I don’t trust, it’s Satan.
——————-
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6 battle grounds
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1. Worldliness
   • academic performance
   • athletic success
   • possessions, appearance & style
   • teach them how to give and serve. Hang out with those who don’t have as much.
   • what are you tempted with & what your kids are
2. Unspiritual
   • apologize when we need to.
   • were sinful and they will be too for their whole life
   • they see how you play the game
3. marriage problems
   • fighting, hateful or the cold war
   • kids are smarter than you think
   • don’t bury things for the sake of peace
   • test – do you want them to have a marriage like yours
4. weak family life
   meals together
   • devotionals
   • time together, consistency
   • pray with them every night, it sticks with them
5. shaping behavior instead of molding hearts
   • task master, doing it right
   • if it’s all about doing it right for mom or dad we’ve missed something
6. dealing with unresolved issues
   • eph 4:26, 29
   • kids that have heard nothing but neg stuff about church their whole life. Do it in private. I does so much damage. Build others up. They end up so critical. Repeat it and exaggerate it, that’s how they hear it.

This past week was a reminder of what a community of churches are good for.
Last week some 30 college students from 3 or 4 churches in Virginia and Ohio came to spend their spring break in Columbus, sharing their faith on the campus of Ohio State. This week there are several more picking up where they left off. The first wave made some 300 contacts and have around 30 students in personal Bible studies.
We have had no campus ministry for the last few years. Many have been longing for a way to restart that ministry, looking to put resources and time into it including hiring a campus minister. I have not been one of them, rather I felt that we should instead focus on who we are – a church of mostly married folks with families. Campus could wait, we were a church of families now. I was wrong.
Having those college folks here with their zeal made me realize two things. One, I’m getting old. Wow those college folks looked young. Two, there’s been a hole in our church where the campus folks were. Without a campus ministry and the youthful zeal they bring we have been a little less diverse. I hadn’t realized what was missing until they came to town.
As I looked at those kids last Wednesday, I was taken back to my campus ministry days. Good times. I couldn’t do now what I did then, but our church needs folks who can just like it needs 40 year old bald guys with preteens. I hope that this is the spark that will ignite the campus ministry.
Also, this past weekend, we had one of the elders and his wife, Walter and Kim Evans, from the Philadelphia Church of Christ in for a parenting workshop. What a great time and great lesson. Good practical advice, I’ll try to post my notes at some point. (Better yet, listen for yourself, an MP3 file is available on our church’s sermons page.)
Walter also spoke at our church leaders meeting of the transitions the Philly church has been through over the past 5 years or so. He took questions and offered his observations on our teen ministry from an event he attended as well as on the campus student swap. His thoughts were the opposite of mine. We were not in the wrong spot to begin a campus ministry, rather we were set up perfectly. A strong campus ministry needs the stability of families behind it. He’s seen both, a church of mostly families began a strong campus ministry in Bloomington IL but in State College PA, an attempt to start a church of primarily college students failed. He was quite optimistic about our chances and called the campus swap the ‘opening shot’.
I’ve been skeptical of outside involvement in our church for some time. I was skeptical – actually, more like cynical – about these two events as well. In the end I was reminded of how powerful the community of churches and relationships of the ICOC was.

Is your church having a Super Bowl party today? It’s likely, I know several churches I’ve been a part of have over the years. We’ve rented rooms and big screens to do so and it’s always a lot of fun, even though I don’t care about football.
This year, if your church is planing one, you might want to make sure you have your lawyer on speed dial:

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said these gatherings are fine, as long as the churches stay within certain guidelines. That’s where Fall Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis went wrong.
The church planned to charge admission to cover the food tab for its party and show the game on a big screen using a projector. It also promoted its “Super Bowl bash” on the church Web site.
Those are some copyright no-no’s. The league’s long-standing policy is to ban “mass out-of-home viewing” of the Super Bowl except at sports bars and other businesses that televise sports as part of their everyday operations, Aiello said.
Places are prohibited from charging admission to watch the Super Bowl, and the law prevents them from showing the game on a TV bigger than 55 inches. [link]

Question to the NFL: Is this really the message you want to send? That you are absolutely in favor of making money off of the game as long as it’s from alcohol and not to support the youth group? Really?
I’m sure you are well within your rights and that this is standard issue stuff, but come on. This is a gathering of friends – most of whom wouldn’t watch the game if it weren’t for these parties. Frankly, in these gatherings, in my experience they are often more interested in your advertisers than he game! In that sense, they’re ideal viewers. Do you really want to pull the law out here and shut them down?
So I guess many parties have gotten canceled. Some churches, however, don’t care. Thumbing their noses at the NFL, they are having their parties anyway:

The get-tough policy hasn’t moved officials at Reynoldsburg United Methodist Church.
Last year’s Super Bowl party for young people at the church, 1636 Graham Rd., attracted about 150, said Matt Holley, the church’s communication coordinator. It’s free and open to the public. Those who attend are asked to bring a snack.
“They’ve got bigger things to worry about,” he said of the NFL. [link]

Question for these churches (two others are quoted in the article): Is this really the message you want to send? That you could care less about the law and obedience if it gets in the way of what you think is best? Really?
I happen to think you have the moral high ground in terms of whether the parties are a good thing or not. But legally, you’ve got nothing to stand on. If the NFL wants to play hard ball on this, they have the upper hand legally. You are flaunting the law because you believe you’re right on some higher plane. But what you are saying to your community is that you are a church that stands for whatever feels good at the time. How do you expect to convert people away from their self-centered, self-directed ways to God’s when you show them that you have no bones about bending the rules to suit your pleasures?
Thankfully, the churches mentioned in the MSNBC article said they would not go through with their parties if the NFL was going to enforce the letter of the law. Sadly, the NFL seems to be doing just that.

Anne Lamott:

The biggest difference between you and God is that God doesn’t think he’s you.

HT: Preacher Mike

Rong of The Requiest and I seem to be in the same place on our spiritual journey right now. He’s mentioned that here and I think he’s right, especially after reading this post today. What a powerful and humbling image. Go read it.
I can’t speak for him, but I know that the past months – many months – I’ve watched as God has laid open my heart and soul for me to see. It’s been very hard to see who I really am – prideful, weak, lazy, judgemental.
On one hand, I’m honored and amazed that God felt that I could handle the truth about me and I wonder what good it will lead to, how will I change as a result? On the other hand, I wish he thought I was weaker and didn’t trust me so much.
Still, I know that this discipline will produce a harvest if I allow myself to be trained by it.
Anyway, why are you still here? Go read!

Why is it that folks try to change others rather than themselves? We assume that things between us and another person would be better if they would only change to be more like us. Of course, the answers are somewhat obvious. To change ourselves would be more work, criticism of others puffs us up and to make fixing the relationship the other persons problem means we don’t have responsibility and we aren’t wrong.
But, on the other hand, this really doesn’t make any sense. Big surprise there, eh? God’s way makes more sense. What I mean is, we have no control over the other person. There is little we can do to get them to change. We can, however, change ourselves. Well, at least we have a much better chance of changing us than we do of changing them.
This begs the question, do we really want to fix the situation or do we just want to feel better about ourselves? If healing is what we want, then changing ourselves makes much more sense. Instead, we focus on what the other party needs to do or be to make the problem disappear.
Many times we may be absolutely right, they do need to change, it would be the ‘best way’ to fix the situation. But we cannot make that happen, we cannot force them to be different. Telling them how they ought to be likely only raises their defenses and their resistance. In fact, the best way to encourage that may be to change our own tactics. More grace, more understanding, more patience, more forgiveness, more love.
I don’t know exactly my point here, other than I want to take folks as they are and love them like Jesus. I want to stop thinking about how they ought to be and start wondering how I ought to respond. I think that Jesus knew coming down here that we were all sinful wretches. We had no idea the trouble we wrought, or maybe we did but simply didn’t now any other way to be. Those that came to Jesus were doing the best they could, but it was far, far short of what they ought to do. Jesus took them at face value, didn’t excuse their sin, but didn’t wag his finger in disgust either. He didn’t say to them, “If you were only _____” or “If you only did _____, things would be fine.” Instead, he accepted them as they were, he offered grace and forgiveness and only then challenged them to change.
When I’m confronted with someone who’s less than loving, harsh or whatever, like Jesus I want to assume that they are doing the best they know how. They either know not what they do, or they know but just don’t know how to be anything else. I want to respond first with acceptance and grace and only then offer. I certainly hope that folks would do that for me, because there are times that I know that I’m not in a good place, but I don’t know any other way to be, at that moment. I just hope that people would know that I’m doing the best I can, and give me some space and some grace and I’ll try to do the same for them.

Posts have been sparse here lately, sorry about that. Going to continue that way for a week or so as we’re heading to Disney World next week. Hope you all had a good Turkey day. Ours was great, I always enjoy trips to Mom and Dad’s house.
This past Sunday wrapped up our 21 week study of the gospel of John. Reading John 21 and Luke 5 together I was struck by the similarities:

• In both stories, there was a night fishing with no catch.
• In both stories, Jesus says try again.
• In both stories, the obey but probably reluctantly. (In Luke Peter voices his reluctance.)
• In both stories, there is an enormous catch.

Note the differences, though:

• In Luke, the nets begin to break, in John they don’t.
• In Luke, Peter is afraid of Jesus and tries to send him away. In John, he runs to Him.

I don’t know that the first is significant, but the second surely is. In the beginning, Peter is just getting to know Jesus. Confronted with a powerful display of His righteousness through the miraculous catch makes him feel inferior, unworthy of being in Jesus’ presence. In the end, Peter’s inferiority to Jesus and his sinfulness are well established, but so is Jesus’ love and grace. There is no more fear, no reason to hide. Instead there is every reason to run into the arms that accept with love and without judgement. In those arms, inadequacy is irrelevant, there is peace that can be found no where else. In other places we might find refuge from violence or hate, but only in Jesus can we escape our own sin, our own ever present failings, our inferiority.
That’s a lesson I need to take with me. As I’m bombarded with my shortcomings, it seems that there is no escape, no refuge, no place of peace. My sin is ever with me, a constant reminder that I will always be less than I had hoped to be, less that I ought to be. Faced with my failings, inadequacies and sin, I must remember that in His arms I am good enough, acceptable, desirable and complete. There is the only refuge for my battered soul.