Category: Family and Friends

Reunion

This year is my 20th High School class reunion (Yeah, do the math, I’m old). I went to my 10th, and although I was able to see a couple of folks that I was glad to see, mostly it wasn’t that great. It was planned by the old party crowd to please the old party crowd. I wasn’t in the old party crowd, in fact, I didn’t even get an invite until Mom called the High School to see if there was going to be one. They said they couldn’t find me. Never mind that Mom and Dad still live in that same house and still have the same phone number, which is still in the phone book.
So I’m not going to the 20th. I don’t even know if there is going to be one. I’m sure they’re having a hard time finding me.
This weekend, however, I did go to a reunion. Maria and I traveled to Cincinnati for a reunion of the campus ministry I was a part of some 15+ years ago. For some of those folks, it had been that long since I’d seen them.
Boy was that a good time. Those years produced some of the best memories of my life. These are my spiritual “Good Old Days”, or at least some of them. Reconnecting with these folks was like the intervening 15 years hadn’t happened, except for the hair lines, the waist lines and the swapping of kid photos. We pretty much picked up where we left off, it was amazing.
This was the ministry I was baptized into back in August of 1988. (Someone had even had a copy of the monthly or maybe bi-monthly church newsletter from 1988 that had my baptism listed. The same one that someone scanned and emailed me back in July 2004. Check the comments here.) We were immersed in each other’s lives. We spent nearly every waking hour not in class together. We knew each other inside and out. If there was one thing that the ICOC was able to do well, that was produce family in people that shouldn’t be family. We were black white, Asian, middle eastern, rich and poor. Well, it was college, we were mostly poor, but we lived and acted like family.
We mostly lived together, sometimes 15 or more to a house. (I lived in one large house with some 17 other guys for 3 months. Bad, bad idea. Great fellowship, lots of roaches. Ironically, that house is now a bed and breakfast.) We hung out together. There was one corner o the student union that had a ember of our ministry in it nearly every minute the union was open. We went on dates together. I have some of the greatest memories from our double dates.
I was able to reconnect with the two ladies who were out sharing their faith that warm summer Tuesday evening on the UC campus. A summer evening on the campus of UC is a desolate place. For them to be there made no sense, there wasn’t anyone to share with. But I was there and my destiny was forever changed.
I saw the man who studied the Bible with me, showing me what Christianity was. He left Cinci in the early 90’s and I have probably only seen him once or twice since. I had hoped to catch up with him for a long time. Those times with him, sitting in nearly every fast food place around UC with our Bible’s open revolutionized my world. He was warm and compassionate, someone that I instantly knew I could trust. It was obvious that he cared about me, and that concern completely put me at ease.
It was amazing to see them all again. In all, some 65 people were there from a ministry that someone said was around 120 at one time. Because I live close to Cinci, I see some of these folks a couple times a year. In fact, 3 of the guys live here in Columbus. Others came in from Boston, Columbia MO and Orlando. Some are no longer attending church any where, but most do. A few wandered away but have since returned.
I hope we can do this again before another 15 years go by.

Congrats, Dad

Today was Dad’s last day of work. He will be officially retired after today, although he will likely work part time for a bit.
I can’t imaging Dad not working. It seems strange to think of him without a job. The funny thing is that I can’t imagine my grandpa, his Dad, working. Of course I know he did, he owned his own successful business, but he retired a little early and I have no memory of him working at all. He may have actually retired before I was born.
I bet my kids will have the same thoughts about their Dad and Grandpa. It’s interesting to think about how my girls see me the way I saw Dad when I was young and see Dad the way I saw Grandpa.
Anyway, congrats Dad. You’ve earned this freedom. You put in your years of service to provide for and raise a family and you (and Mom!) did well. I hope you can look at what my family and my sister’s has become and be proud. We are what we are in no small part because of the life you lived. Steadfast, strong, committed, reliable. A rock. Jesus told us that it is wise to seek and build our lives upon the foundation that is solid. It’s a true blessing when that solid, stable foundation is provided for you to build upon.
Thanks Dad, and enjoy yourself.

.”Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

A Poem From Audrey

Audrey is just finishing first grade at Alton Darby Elementary, and they had a Haiku assignment a while back. This is her poem.

Alton Darby
Alton Darby’s yard
There’s lots of dandelions
A field of yellow

Pretty cool, eh?
Audrey’s our thinker. Emily has gymnastics and Jessica has dance. Audrey’s tried both and Soccer too but none of them tickled her fancy. We think she needs a hobby that doesn’t involve physical activity. Maybe she’ll be a poet.

Role Models

My 11 year old daughter, Jessica, participated in her school’s DARE Program this year. One of her assign ments was to write an essay. I’m not sure the guide lines, but Jessica chose to write about role models. Her essay was chosen as one of 5 that was read at the DARE graduation ceremony out of some 30 or 40 students. Here’s her essay:

Role Modes

Role models are good to look up to. This is the definition of a role model: someone worthy of imitation; “every child needs a role model.” Good role models will not going to drink, smoke, or take any other drugs. If a role model comes to your class to talk, you should pay attention to what they’re saying because they’re older than you and the things that are happening to them are most likely to happen to you hen you are their age. Also, you should ask as many questions as you need to.
Role models can teach you about drugs and how they can affect school and other outside of school activities in your life. You might already know a lot about drugs because, in fourth or fifth grade, you were in D.A.R.E. but you should still listen to other important things about drugs.
Any one can be a role model. Your teacher, your parents, your older friends, your older siblings, the police, firefighters, doctors, nurses, and lots of other people can be roll models. When you get older, you should be a roll model, too.
People that smoke, drink, or take any other drugs, are not good role models. If your mom or dad takes drugs, you are most likely going to follow them and take drugs.
Be wise when you choose who to look up to because if you choose someone that drinks or smokes, you are most likely going to drink or smoke, like that person. But if you choose someone that doesn’t drink or smoke, you are most likely not going to drink or smoke, like that person. So, choose who you look up to wisely and you will be safe from drugs.
Role models might not only talk about drugs, but, also, might talk about themselves and things that go along in their life. You should listen to these kinds of things because when you get to be their age, those same things might happen to you.
When you get older, you will find that lots of people will be asking you if you want to try drugs. You shouldn’t be afraid to say “NO” to who ever asks you if you want to try drugs. If your best friend asks you if you want to try drugs, just say “NO” and walk away. If your friend takes drugs, you should not hang out with them any more and if they ask you why you are not hanging out them any more, just say ‘I don’t hang out with people that take drugs’ or something like that and walk away. If they get mad and try to force you to take a cigarette, or something else that’s bad, go get an adult.
That’s what I have to say about role models and how they are good to look up to, how they can help you, which people are good role models, and which people are bad role models. And one last thing, be wise about choosing who you look up to and…
DON’T TAKE DRUGS!!!

Patrick Mead’s Parenting Philosophy

Patrick Mead is the proprietor of Tent Pegs. While I was up to my eyeballs in changing hosts, he was writing two excellent posts about his parenting philosophy. He has successfully navigated his two kids (a 17 year old man and 23 year old woman) into adulthood and offers some of his concepts for raising “faithful, happy children”.
First, go read The Safety Valve. Here’s a quote to entice you to read:

[H]ere is the payoff: because they were allowed to release steam in small amounts, they never felt the need to blow up. Did we disagree with some of their decisions? Yes (but, to be honest, that didn’t happen a lot). But if Kami and I were to die today we know that Duncan has all the skills he needs — even at 17 — to make his way forward from here without us. Kara is already a godly woman, and a very wise one, who would miss us terribly… but she has all the skills she needs to move on without us.

That’s something that I want to be able to say, that I’ve prepared them to live without me. Not by leaving instructions for every eventuality, but by teaching them to think and find their own way.
After you’ve wrapped your mind around his first post, read the follow-up, God is Smart… or… the “duh” factor… where Patrick lays out some practicals to back up his theories.

We instilled very early in our children the concept of consequences. Within age appropriate limits, they were able to make decisions but they also had to bear the consequences. Consequences have largely been removed from our children’s actions and that is a shame. Once upon a time if the child responsible for maintaining the fire failed at his duty, the house was cold, food was uncooked, and he had to deal with the disapproval of his family until the situation was rectified. Bring consequences and God back into the mix.
When God is entered into the equation, children learn that there is a metaphysical as well as a physical component to every decision made.

There are some very thought provoking things in there (like no bedtimes after 6 years old, and no curfews!), but I think he’s onto something. Maria and I haven’t really talked this through and decided how it might fit into our family. On some levels it’s not far from what we are already doing, on others it seems like another universe. I will say that it has changed how I aproach our kids and how reactionary I am to their mis-behaviors.

Prayer Updates & More

I’ve asked you to pray for a few folks lately, I thought I’d give you an update.
James (see here and here) and his family were in town this past weekend for a wedding. He looked good (James always looks good), although he walled more slowly and deliberately and was using a cane. He said it’s been a huge adjustment and he’s frequently worn out. He’s planning on taking a sabbatical from work (he’s been back and even had to do some traveling to Connecticut) to rest. He could use continued prayers as they adjust to this.
My cousin’s husband Dewight (see here) is home and recovering. I have more details on what happened. He was in a Humvee with 3 other soldiers and the hit some kind of road side bomb. One soldier was killed on impact. The driver pulled Dewight and the other one out of the Humvee. The driver was in the best shape, and the other man later died from his injuries.
In addition to his broken neck, Dewight has nerve damage in both shoulders, damage in left ankle, shrapnel in left leg calf, missing teeth, and a damaged ear. His neck break is a clean break with no spinal cord damage. Because the break is clean, he won’t have surgery and will wear a neck brace for 6 months.
He’s home now with my cousin and their 3 boys. Please continue to pray as he heals both emotionally and physically.
Lastly, I’d like to ask for prayers fro a couple of other folks. First is my friend and fellow blogger, Paul Frederick who is recovering from another surgery. It’s hoped that this will reduce his ongoing pain in the long run, although the recovery will be long. (For an idea of what Paul goes through on a regular basis, see here.) Please pray for him, if you will.
Also, LJ a member of our church has gone back in the Hospital. He has congestive heart failure and his heart has gone out of rhythm for the third time. Prior to going in, he thought they would be putting in a pace maker. I’m not sure if that’s what will happen or not. When I saw him last Sunday, he was obviously quite shaken and by this. Everyone loves LJ, he brings a smile to everyone’s face. I wrote a little about him here. Pray for healing and peace, if you would.
Thanks.

Happy Anniversary

In some ways it seems like she’s always been there, it’s hard to remember life without her. It’s been 10 years today since she and I began our life together.
Over those years we’ve lived together in 3 different places in two states. She and I have traveled a lot of roads together, and tens of thousands of miles. Time hasn’t been kind to her, frankly she’s never been much to look at, but she’s almost never let me down.
She’s been a loyal and steadfast companion these ten years, but frankly I’m getting a little tired of her. Although reliable as the day is long, she’s never been very much fun or excitement, but as she’s aged it’s actually gotten worse. As much as I’ve appreciated the years we’ve spent together, I’ve grown impatient to see it end. I thought that we’d make it together through 2006, but now I just don’t know.
Ten years is a long time for any relationship, but even more so for one with a car.
Huh? What did you think I was talking about?
It was 10 years ago today that I traded my fun loving but very temperamental (lets not mince words, it was a lemon) 1988 Nissan Pulsar NX SE for a boring but extremely dependable 1993 Ford Escort LX 5 door. A plane Jane white 5-speed with no options but a tape player, AC and some kind of lighting package (reading, glove box, under hood, trunk – this thing’s got lights everywhere), this car has carried us through over 150,000 miles. There’s about 178,000 on the clock now. The body is rusty, the interior is grungy, the driver’s arm rest is long gone and the heater fan sometimes doesn’t work but it still gets me the 26 miles to work every day and gets 35-40 MPG.
There are still a few payments left on the Odyssey and I had planned to keep the old girl until then, but I am begining to hear the siren call of either a Mazda 3 hatchback or a Protege5. I’m not sure I can hold out much longer.

There’s Always an Exception.

Kids love to mess with stuff, why is that? Like the drain stopper. They like to push it down and fill up the sink and pull it up and watch it drain.
Of course, that means that the stopper gets disconnected from the handle and then it won’t go up. And the sink won’t drain. It happens every now and then. But that doesn’t stop one of them from brushing their teeth anyway.
Of course, when the next one gets there and sees this sink full of water, toothpaste and spit, they call Daddy. Daddy can fix it, he can fix anything!
So I reach through the toothpaste and spit and pull the drain up with my fingernails and let it drain. A little wiggling and the stopper and handle are reconnected. All is right with the world.
That’s when I have this conversation with Audrey (who’s six):

Daddy: Why do you girls have to mess with the drain? That’s why it gets messed up. Leave it alone. There’s no reason for you to ever mess with the drain. (Daddy was a little frustrated.)
Audrey: Except …
Daddy: No, there’s no reason!
Audrey: Unless ….
[Daddy frowns, awaiting what might be next.]
Audrey: Unless you have to wash your cat.
[pause]
Daddy: OK, the next time we have to wash the cat Audrey, you get to do the drain. Until then, leave it alone, OK?
Audrey: OK.

Audrey’s going to be a comedian when she grows up.

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