In the past few months we’ve talked about identifying our spiritual gifts & having dreams for God. I want to expand on this from something I learned at a men’s retreat with my Dad 2 weekends ago.
I’ve come to believe even more strongly that God has a personal vision for us, that he created each one of us for a specific role and mission. It may be big and public, like an evangelist or minister, but more likely it’s smaller and less known – an encourager, friend, listener, inspiration, teacher.
Let’s look at some verses:

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

1 Corinthians 12:4-11

This passage says that we are each given a manifestation of the spirit for the common good. It then goes on to say that that manifestation comes in a variety of ways and is different for each of us. Knowledge, faith, healing, prophesy, etc. We all posses some of them, in varying ways.
The interesting and amazing thing is that God has set it up this way on purpose. We do not all have everything the church needs, some are strong in one area and weak in another, others are reversed. You have a gift and strength that I do not.
This is for the good of the church, take a look:

But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:
“When he ascended on high,
he led captives in his train
and gave gifts to men.”
(What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Ephesians 4:7-13

We all have a role to play on the church. My role is different than yours and they are both different than DG or JB or SL or … We do share some common roles such as loving each other, seeking the lost, etc., but we all may not even do those things in the same way.
This passage says that God has given us all gifts, first the gift of grace, and then gifts of service to the church. It talks about specific, ‘high profile’ roles in the church, but I believe that this applies to all of us. We are called to fill a role that only we can fill. He designed you, equipped you, do be a certain person for the good of the church. Look back to 1 Corinthians 12:

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret?

1 Corinthians 12:14-30

Just as our body needs all of it’s parts to function properly – hands, feet, eyes, ears, intestines, lungs, etc – so the church needs all of it’s members to function as God intended it. Yes, the human body can function if some parts are missing. Blind and deaf people get by; you can remove a lung or a kidney and keep going. But usually, it hampers the person’s abilities. They can get by, but they’d likely do better if they were whole. So it is with the church, we will survive if were are all evangelists or teachers or encouragers, but we’d do better if we each filled the role given us to serve the church.
So, who are you meant to be? What has God made you? Do you know? If you do, are you doing it or are you following your own agenda? I know, like I shared last month, I don’t believe that I’ve done well at filling mine. I believe I’m meant to be with people, to encourage and strengthen the weak and care for the flock, not sit in my home alone. I’ve noticed that God has given me the ability and the heart to strengthen the weak. I feel it with in me. When I sense someone is hurting or struggling, I want to get involved, to fix it. In several cases, I’ve found that just being with folks and listening, they go away encouraged. I honestly don’t know why, it’s certainly not the words I say, they are few most times, or any grand advice, many times I tell them I don’t know what to say. But somehow, God has enabled me to be an encouragement and a strength to them in their time of need. That is who I am meant to be, who God created me to be.
The bottom line is that God created you for a purpose as well, if you refuse that purpose there’s no one else to do it. If I refuse to be Doug, the Doug that God created me to be, no one else can be Doug. The same is true for you, for all of use. No one can fill our shoes if we refuse.
This requires us to stay in tune to, and listen for, God’s spirit. That’s not easy to do. It takes quiet meditation, prayer, discernment, Godly advice. So, listen, what is God calling you to?

This week, three different posts on other blogs have showed me God in a new way. Each has moved me and stirred my emotions. Let me share them with you.
First, Pinakidion shares a lesson about God learned from his son, through weaning him:

… I don’t believe that he is tapping his foot, impatient with us that we are not taking the next step on our journey. He is not standing there pleading, “For the love of me, just do this simple thing!” If I, a sinful man, can look at our son in love and accept him for who he is while completely believing in him – surely God can do the same, if not more.
This is an image of God I like because he is not some Santa Claus god, or a permissive god, or a god that is as subject to creation as I am. No. He is deliberate, loving, faithful, and most of all, present. From my perspective, all I can do sometimes is demonstrate that I am angry and frustrated and sad. He knows that sometimes I cannot or will not understand no matter what He says. Instead of getting angry, he looks to comfort, offer, and wait. The expectation hasn’t changed, but he’s not going to give up because He always trusts.

This was humbling to me. I tend to see God as distant and disappointed. I think he right on here, however, God knows me, knows what I am capable and deals with me appropriately. He does not expect me to understand concepts beyond my grasp or to act accordingly. It’s a powerful realization and a relief as well. I need not be concerned about chasing every right path and understanding. God knows me and will only ask what I am able to deliver, I need only to seek Him.
I’m left thinking also about whether I’m doing the same with my kids. Do I treat them as 7, 9 & 11 or am expecting them to act like adults? Too often I’m treating them as adults and expressing my disappointment when they don’t act like it. I need to act more like God with them.
The other two were at Patrick Mead’s Tent Pegs. First, what is our reward?

The benefit I received in marrying Kami [his wife] was: Kami. I get to be with Kami. That’s it. And that’s wonderful. She is complex, interesting, mysterious, changeable… an enigma in a pretty wrapper. THAT is my present.
I know this will upset the Prayer of Jabez people or the Prosperity Gospel folks, but the presence of God is my present. My only reward is that He will walk with me and not turn away when times get rough (see Psalm 139). When I don’t get the job I want, when a monster walks into a school in Colorado or Pennsylvania and kills sweet little girls, when my health shudders and breaks, or when financial disaster closes in on me, I have my reward — the presence of God.

I need reminded of this, especially with my wife. I need to step back and just marvel that I am with this woman, and that she wants to be with me. Also, the idea that just being with God is my reward is liberating. I don’t need to seek any other blessings or understanding, just be with God. That is enough.
Later, Patrick asks us to go for a walk.

The whole of Scripture can be read as an invitation by God to walk with Him. In one instance, God tells Abram to “walk before me.” That doesn’t mean that Abram led and God followed, not at all. It was sweeter and more wonderful than that. It was God saying, “Let me watch you walk. Walk with me and let me rejoice in your walking.” You have a Father who wants to watch you walk today. It’s okay — He loves you! And He will walk with you.

What an amazing picture of God, a God who longs to watch us walk with him, to rejoice in our walking. I don’t think I’ve had such an intimate picture of God in a long time. I needed that.

Someday …
I want to drive to work without thinking “Why didn’t you signal? Get out of the left lane! Can’t you see your signal is still on? Why would anyone buy that car? Make up your mind, pass me or not. Don’t you check your mirrors? Let’s go!”
Someday …
I want to see another’s opinions and decisions as valid and reasonable at first, rather than wonder why they don’t see things or do things my way and having to remind myself that I don’t have all the answers later.
Someday …
I want to interpret the silent look of a friend, or my wife, or my parents, or a coworker, as simple thoughtfulness, or daydreaming, or quiet praise or … just silence. Not as I usually do, wondering if they’re disappointed in me, hurt by me, upset with me or angry at me. Like everyone has nothing to do other than think about me.
Someday …
I want to be able to trust that those who love me are on my side, not trying to force me into their mold or to make me behave a certain way.
Someday …
I want to look at the world, at everyone’s choices & preferences, without defaulting to criticism & judgment.
Someday …
I want to look at my friends, my family and not assume that they are like me – always critical, always making judgments. I want to assume that they approve, or at least that they don’t disapprove.
Someday …
I want my default mindset to be grace. Without having to think first. I want to easily trust. Without having to remind myself that I should.
Someday …
Until then, I simply want the ability to live with my sinful, broken self as I am. To walk day to day without cringing at my every thought and action.
That seems hard enough, let alone making the journey to someday.

Wednesday was our monthly midweek meeting by house church. These are my notes from my lesson. A little rough around the edges, and not exactly he way I delivered it, but pretty close. I could clean it up and make it more blog-worthy, but I’m not. 🙂
I want to challenge us this evening, all of us me included. This will hit some of you, as it does me, right square in the heart. Others, it may not apply to, you’re already doing exactly this.
In fact it applies to me so well, I thought about not sharing it. Maybe it’s just me, I doubt it, but if the challenge doesn’t apply to you, please take no offense.
Thinking about our study of John, one thing that stands out is that Jesus is always with people. His ministry was outward focused.
I am not.
I’ve come to realize that my life is very inward focused. My schedule, my blog, my hobbies. I like to think of myself as a having a good ‘balance’, in reality, day in and day out, the balance is shifted toward me.
But the things that get me agitated, frustrated, angry,
Remember this passage from John 12:24-26:

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.

Remember Sunday, we talked about finding ‘balance’? Jesus didn’t call us to balance, to make room for his goals in our lives. He called us to die. It’s a radical concept. A very hard teaching. If we embrace it, all bets are off on our lives, we will be dead and obligated to God.
I think of this quote from Soren Kierkegaard [which I’ve used here before].

The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church’s prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament

.
All this – Jesus always with the people and dying to ourselves – got me thinking about what the ‘Christian lifestyle’, and therefore mine, ought to look like. That got me thinking about all tha passages that refer to our relationshiops – the ‘one another’ passages. Let’s look at some.

Romans 12:10
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Romans 12:16
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.[1] Never be conceited
Romans 15:7
Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
Romans 16:16
Greet one another with a holy kiss.
1 Corinthians 12:25
that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.
2 Corinthians 13:11
Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.
Galatians 5:13
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 5:21
submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Colossians 3:13
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

As Christians, our focus is outward, on others. But we live in a society that focuses on self.
Look at the action words in these passages. What are our action words? Buy, relax, go, work, spend. There are others, not all bad, but our ways are for us, but God’s ways are for others.
We cannot do many of these things if we do not spend time together. We must break our schedules, our priorities and get involved with other people, especially disciples.
Let’s look for ways to be together, make spending time a priority. Not just ‘D-times’ or study times, but fun times. Kid’s recitals and soccer games, dinner out or in our homes, home projects, watching the game,etc.
As I look at my own life, I have two thoughts:

1. My first thought is that I long to change my way of thinking, to make time with others a priority and find ways, invent ways, of being with disciples. This is needed, desparately perhaps, in myself and in others. I want to change my mode of operation from one of “I want to get home and be alone” to “I long to spend some time with my brothers!”.
2. My second thought, however, is to run from this. I frankly don’t want to change. This goes to the core of ME, I’m not sure I want to go there. As Soren Kierkegaard said, “if I do that my whole life will be ruined.” What I want is to feel good about the revelation and keep on living the same way.

I can’t stay the same, but can I really move toward such a change? Prayerfully I can.
How about you?

Our church leadership is tackling some tough issues. A couple of weeks ago, our minister asked us to put some thought together on what discipling, attendance and dating will look like in our church and have them ready for today’s leaders meeting. The following is what I put together before the meeting and represents both mine and Maria’s thoughts.
Thoughts on the meeting in the first comment.
As we talk as a church about issues that have historically been important to us – discipling, attendance and dating among others – I wanted to put my thoughts on paper as I flesh them out.
In general, I feel we must be careful in these and other areas. We must not set up rules or standards for membership in our church that God does not set up for membership in his. It may be tempting to set up rules that are define who we are in the CCOC, rules and practices that define who we are. But who are we to say what is required to be part of God’s family, even a segment of God’s family. We should not risk pushing away one of God’s children for the sake of our comfort in being surrounded by like minded folks.
Peter cautioned the early church on the same thing in Acts 15 concerning circumcision & following the law when he said “why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of the disciples a yoke that neither we nor our fathers have been able to bear? No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.” So as we consider discipling, attendance and dating , we must be careful not to add our “rules of men” to God’s standard.
I think that discipling is the most important of the three. How we implement and practice discipling has an effect on the other two. As I look at the scriptures, I don’t see a requirement for discipling as we’ve practiced it, organized, assigned. Instead, I see an emphasis on loving each other and watching out for each other.
Discipling should be ‘top down’ not ‘bottom up’. In the past we emphasized the need for individuals to seek advice and discipling for themselves, even correcting them when they did not. I call this the ‘bottom up’ style. You are responsible for yourself and shame on you if you don’t get the help you need. Instead, we should emphasize & model leaders & others proactively getting involved in the lives of others, asking questions, seeking understanding and teaching and caring. I see this ‘top down’ style being more biblical.
Ezekiel 34 is a great example of this. God is not angry with the sheep who went astray, he’s angry at the shepherds who did not go after them. Our old model would have been the leaders chastising the lost sheep.
John 10 tells us how Jesus is the good shepherd, because he lays his life down for the sheep. In fact, Jesus came because he saw our need, a need we did not recognize. We, in our sin and pride, didn’t think we needed saving. But Jesus saw us wandering off and came to our rescue, dying on the cross. He is our example and that should be our standard for discipling, selfless, sacrificing, humble and loving yet firm with high expectations.
All the ‘one another’ verses are examples of this as well. They are proactive, born of love and concern for the other. I would say the whole of the New Testament cries for us to “consider others better than [ourselves]” (Philippians 2:3) and to focus ourselves on others. This should be the heart of our discipling and the focus of our teaching and practicing of it. When we see something of concern in our brother or sister, our first response should be trust (Love always trusts – 1 Corinthians 13). Trust that they love God and long to please him, possible evidence to the contrary aside. With trust in our hearts, we can, and should, then go and ask questions, seek to understand what’s going on. Often times, things are not quite what they seem. Only then, with a full understanding of the situation and trust in our hearts, can we lovingly challenge, if there is a need.
We should also stop making what seems like the opposite mistake, but is really as much a lack of love as the sometimes harsh, critical judgments of the past were. That is seeing areas of concern in our brother and doing nothing. It’s not my place, someone else will talk to him, maybe I don’t understand, he probably doesn’t want me involved. We cannot expect to build on our successes as a church this year if we have such a cavalier attitude toward each other.
This must stop, but mandatory discipling trees or groups are not the answer. As I said, I do not see any requirement for organized discipling in the scriptures, only the requirement that we love deeply, to the point of putting ourselves at risk. So as we seek to retain the good things that the old ways brought, let’s not be tempted to go back to the one size fits all system. In fact, I’d say we ought not to require any sort of system at all. Instead, as leaders, we ought to require sincere, deep, vulnerable and sacrificial love, and we must model that within ourselves and our groups.
On the other two issues, I think if we love deeply and practice discipling as described above, they will fix themselves. A pattern of absence may be a look at a heart grown cold, of hidden sin or a drifting from God. Or it may be that Wednesday night is the only time to take that class required to graduate, or a temporary transfer to the weekend shift while a co-worker is on maternity leave. Only by loving enough to trust and to dig in and ask question will we know for sure, and be able to help restore a wandering soul if need be.
On dating I do have a bit more to say. The question I would ask is, is dating, even marrying, someone who is not a Christian something that we would disfellowship someone for? Asked another way, would someone be forfeiting their salvation by marrying a non-believer? We certainly don’t turn away married folk if only one of them comes to church. I absolutely believe that we should teach the folly of pursuing a relationship of any kind with the opposite sex who is not a Christian, but as I said before, we must be careful not to add rules to God’s. If someone who loves God, foolishly does this and even ends up married to that person, they need us more than ever at that point. They ought to know, that we still stand by them as they strive to follow Christ, assuming that’s what they still want.
On dating, I think it’s time we took a more mature approach to this. We are a small church, it is foolish for us to teach our singles that they must only date within our own fellowship, or our sister churches in other cities. We should instead teach discernment in dating. How can I tell if this person is spiritual and is going to lead me toward God instead of away? We should also, cautiously, begin to find ways to work with other, historically similar, churches in or area to help these men and women find mates that will strengthen them. There are attractive men and women around them in their neighborhoods, the campus and their workplaces, longing for their attention. They need to know how to discern, how to chose whom they should and should not date.
I hope that as a church we can act in faith. It takes more faith to resist establishing rules and requirements and to allow people to work out their salvation. Rules only serve to make us feel comfortable, but for the sake of our comfort we can exclude those that God has accepted. Let us not do that.