What do you think of with these two words?
Respect: Honor, admiration, preference, esteem, high regard, courtesey, friendship, reverence, value, obedience, deference,
Extravagant: Unrestrained, reckless, over the top, lavish, exorbitant, profuse, ecessive, unrestrained.
Why put these two together? In a study on worship this evening at church, “Extravagant Respect” was given as a definition of “Worship”. I hope that I can bring this thought with me in my next prayer time, Bible study or to my next worship service.

Some things happened the week after we were on vacation that have underscored for me the importance of strong relationships that can withstand any sort of conversation. If your relationships are too shallow to endure one person’s sin and the confrontation by another, they are not the kind of relationships you need. Getting there is not easy and takes a huge risk of being hurt, but the rewards are great.
Just before I left on vacation, there was an open issue regarding the youth ministry (my domain as deacon). I was to talk with someone about taking a leadership role over part of the youth ministry and did not. I dropped the ball. Over the course of my vacation, and I confided this to Virusdoc when I met with him, I considered my inaction and had resolved to return with a change of heart. Frankly this incident just before I left was only the tip of the iceberg of my neglect of my duties as children’s ministry deacon. I had gotten lazy and unconcerned about my ministry and it was time I repented. During the time I was gone, however, one of our leadership group acted to speak to this brother and in fact presented him to the church as the new leader. The kids in the ministry, the parents, the current leaders as well as the rest of the deacons and ministers were not aware that he was going to this at that time. Needless to say, this was not a good thing. This was not the course of action we (the leadership team) had intended. I was to speak to him and report back to the team. We would then talk about it and figure out the best course of action to move forward, bringing everyone in the loop.
When I returned, I, of course, was surprised to learn what had taken place. I had some very, um, open conversation with a very good friend on the leadership team. He helped me a lot to work through my hurt for being side stepped and my anger with this brother and encouraged me that I needed to talk with him about it. Really all he did was listen to my rantings and give me room to talk, but it was just what I needed. I knew I wasn’t in the right place and needed help to get there. I asked his opinions and vented a bit. He told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to talk to the other brother. I agreed and after our talk, and some prayer, I was pretty much ready to talk to the other brother.
I was still a bit apprehensive about it at first. I was afraid that I would not be able to communicate what I felt went wrong, that I’d have to convince him that this was a problem. I was afraid that I’d not be able to get through, then I’d feel foolish and even more hurt. I’ve been down that road with different brothers and I didn’t want to go there again. In the end I had no reason to be concerned this time. We met for lunch and almost immediately he brought up the situation and spilled on the table what he saw in himself that had hurt others and me. He acknowledged his shortcomings and we talked frankly about it and how he could do better. (I, too, apologized for my inattentiveness to my ministry.) He plainly admitted that this was a character flaw of his, and even cited past incidents, and that he needed help. It was a great example of Godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:8-13).
It was so encouraging. It’s amazing how something that had the potential for prolonged hurt and division can turn out for such good. His humility made all the difference. I’m also struck with how Godly confrontation can do so much good. Frankly, part of me wanted desperately to find a way to avoid speaking to him about it. I looked for excuses to sweep it under the rug, pretend it was a matter of opinion or not a big deal. Frankly it was a big deal because at the root of it his actions showed a greater concern with the problem being solved rather than the people involved with the problem. I could have listened to those deceitful inner voices and avoided the confrontation, but I would have missed out on an opportunity to become closer to this brother. I now feel more than ever that he and I are in the same fight for the souls of our church and God’s honor. This, my friends, is how we must treat each other in God’s church if we are to truly defeat Satan and honor God. I really believe that this is no small victory. If I had chickened out, I would have lingering doubt in my heart about his motives and there would be a small wedge between us. The seeds of division and doubt would have been sown and all that would all have to be overcome each time that he and I interacted. Furthermore, my silence would have been an act of cowardice and a lack of love. True friends not only laugh together, but should confront each other as well. Because of one small act of courage and one soft and humble heart a relationship is strengthened and our church is stronger for it too.

That title ought to get you reading. A couple of news stories have got me thinking about this. The first is the California Supreme Court decision that the Mayor of San Francisco acted out of line in granting same-sex marriages. The second is the recent announcement that the governor of New Jersy stepping down because of an extra-marital affair with another man.
In the first story the Mayor, of course, portayed himself as a crusader for civil rights, standing up for the oppressed. Nevermind that California state law explicitly states that a marriage is between a man and a wonan. The mayor clearly was flaunting the law. What got me thinking was the idea that this was a civil rights issue. That only holds water only if you consider being gay to be a human characteristic, in the same category as things like being black, hispanic or a woman. To me that’s a bit of a leap. I understand that to those who identify themselves as gay it seems that’s just how they are, but I’m not aware that there has been any evidence that supports the idea that folks just are gay. In fact many folks become gay later in life or stop being gay. No one ever stopped being black (Micheal Jackson excepted) and very few have stopped being women (and even then they must continue to take hormones becasue their bodies don’t know that they aren’t women anymore). We grant civil rights to people based on the unchangeable characteristics of who they are, not based on their preferences or tastes.
It was with this in mind that the story of the NJ Governor, a twice married man and father, came out. Setting aside for a minute what his actual intentions might be (I’m not even sure waht they are, haven’t looked into it), let’s assume for a moment that he is ashamed of his homosexual behavior and desires to change and save his marriage and family. It struck me that he might, in the same way a clean alcoholic still considers himself an alcoholic, may feel like he is gay. He may get counciling and treatment and stop his sinful behavior, but, just like the alcoholic still craves a drink, he may still be drawn to that life. Perhaps he stays ‘clean’ for as long as he lives, but in his mind he’s still ‘gay’.
In the church, perhaps we should not, then, be so quick to dismiss the idea of the ‘gay Christian’ any more that we dismiss the idea of the ‘alcoholic Christian’, the ‘addict Christian’, the ‘lustful Chritian’ or the ‘liar Christian’. We are all recovered or transformed from something, and are likely still are drawn to it today to some degree. The alcoholic longs for his drink, the liar is tempted to decieve, the lustful craves that look and the gay man or woman desires the same sex. As long as we not remaining in that life, but fighting against its call, we are still His. We do not celebrate that of which we are now ashamed nor to we accept or tolerate it. But we cannot refuse admitance to God’s family or shun anyone because one has this particular sinful leaning. In doing so aren’t we much like the Pharasee in Matthew 18:9-14? Jesus criticized him for looking down his nose at the tax collector and He praised the tax collector for his humility. God accepts us all, in spite of our sinful leanings, if we submit to Him and not to those leanings. We should do the same.

It’s been a while since I posted about the changes afoot in my church. Time for an update.
I wish I could say that it has been just wonderful, smooth sailing into unity. If I did, you’d all know I was lying anyway because nothing of any importance can be done by a group without some hard times. People are just different, and those differences take some ironing out in order to work as a team. I am happy to report that it has not been comletely discouraging either. It been an up and down time, but mostly we’re making progress.
Of the three commitments we made at that first meeting, we’ve kept the first two fairly well. We’ve met every other week and talked about the church. (OK, one week we spoke briefly and then went to see Spiderman II.) We’re getting to know one another, and learning how to work together. It’s much harder than it sounds. It’s amazing how we can make a plan of action for the coming weeks and each of us understand that plan differently. It’s taking a lot of openess and honesty and understanding to come together. That can be both exhausting and intimidating. I was encouraged one evening as I hesitated to share what might come across as hurtful or negative. One of the brothers said something like, “Just say it. If we can’t just speak our minds here, we should give up now.” Amen to that. So to sum it up, one day it’s great, we’re forging a bond and becoming unifies. The next, we’ve misunderstood each other or stepped on toes or acted inconsiderately or without consultation of the group and it hurts. But we’re pressing on.
The most encouraging thing has been the meetings with the members. We paired up and each pair took a region. My cohort and I have met with 6 – 8 couples and a couple of individuals in the last 2 months. I tell you, I did not realize how draining it could be adding in 2-3 two hour appointments into my week. It’s worn me out. But the encouragement I’ve recieved from them has been fantastic. Not that they’ve all felt great about the church, some did but most had some concerns. No major ones for us yet. But they’ve all been very encouraged that we were coming out to do meet with them. Even more encouraging to me, was the changes we have seen in people as a result of our meeting. we did not set out to challenge people to change, nor have we. But in more that one case, on their own, people have initiated changes that they had spoken of in our meeting. For example, one brother said he’d been meaning to have more people in his home and the week after our meeting he hosted a cookout after church. To see people inspired to do something on their own is so encouraging to me.
It’s also helped me see the needs of the church more clearly, exactly what it was intended to do. Going in I had a thought that the biggest need was relationships. We’ve heard a fair bit about relationships, but just as much about a lack of discipling and challenging going on. What I’ve learned is that people don’t want just relationships, they want challenging relationships. They long to be kept on the narrow road. This was somewhat surprising to me, but it shouldn’t have been. Isn’t that what I want too? Isn’t that the reason I’ve been lamenting my own lack of relationships?
We’ve still a long way to go, but we’re getting there. Along the way, the brother that I’ve been teamed up with and I are building the kind of relationship that I’ve longed for. He’s been there for me when I’ve felt like giving up, listening and encouraging. He’s been just what I needed. I hope that doesn’t mean he’s about to leave too. 🙂

Part two of my response to VirusDoc’s questions in the comments here. I’ll attempt to tackle questions 1 – 3 because they kind of go together:
1) Why do you feel so strongly that Christianity needs *a* definition instead of *many* definitions? Is there evidence within the life or teachings of Christ for such a demand?
Well, I think that there is one small core set of fundamentals that define Christianity and that there can only be one set. If it has many definitions or sets of core teachings, how can it be one? How can several groups or people claim Christ and follow different fundamental beliefs?
That said, I think there are also many means of living beyond that core. Much like a tree grows up from a common trunk and spreads in many directions so does Christianity. Paul spoke of that when he spoke of our many gifts (1 Cor. 12) and different roles (Eph. 4:11-13) but in each passage he speaks of that diversity in the context of unity. It is not an either/or proposition, there must be both. In that same chapter of Ephesians he also speaks of the importance of unity:

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit–just as you were called to one hope when you were called– one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. – Ephesians 4:4-6

Paul’s comparison of the church to the body in 1 Cor. 12 is a great example of diversity from unity. We all recognize a hand or foot as human, a part of the body. However, if a man came to you and had the hand of a baboon or a hoof of a donkey, you’d immediately recognize something was wrong. It was a hand and foot, but not a human hand and foot. I think the same can be said for Christianity. It ought to be recognizable when something is similar but doesn’t belong.
As far as the teachings of Jesus, yes I think there are several:
John 4:16 – No one gets to God except through Jesus.
Matthew 7:13-14 – The narrow road implies a precise definition.
John 17:11, 20-21 – Jesus prays that we may be a united as He and God are. Can you imagine them disagreeing on fundamentals (or anything for that matter)?
Other parts of scripture, some outlined above, teach of the importance of unity. 1 Cor. 1:10 even says that we should ‘be perfectly united in mind and thought.’ Unity is a big deal in the NT.
2) Do you think it is possible that the diversity within Christianity is something God intended?
Absolutely. See 1 Cor. 12 again.
3) In your opinion, where does diversity become disunity (not doctrinally, but practically speaking)?
I’m not sure about that one. I think that this is one of the reasons that defining the core is so important. After all, if everything is fundamental, then nothing truly is. The question then becomes is the disagreement or diversity a violation of any of the core of the faith? If so then I think the line has been crossed.
I think that identifying disunity or divisiveness is something we must approach with caution. It’s far too easy to become the dividing force ourselves by pointing our fingers at others and calling them divisive. Suddenly it is we who are drawing lines in the sand and saying who’s in or out based on our own whims not on scripture. I think that’s why keeping this core value set small and clearly defined is important as well. If we’re to draw lines in the sand, we must do everything we can to draw them only where God would and nowhere else.

VirusDoc asks some good questions in the comments of my previous post. Rather than answering them there, I felt that they were worthy of their own post(s). Because I can’t seem to write short posts, I’ll answer them over the next few postings. I’ll start with #4:
Why do _you_ feel such a deep need for Christian unity?
Because I’ve experienced it, or at least something very much like it. As I explained earlier, my church once took some pretty radical stands on some things over the years. One of those things was unity. Our churches were united and codependent in a powerful way. This sprung out of several things, the prominent position of discipling for one and the belief in ‘one true church’ for another. Both of those ideas took some rather unfortunate turns over the years and as a result the foundations of what we called ‘unity’ were shaken. Discipling turned from love into authority and control and the idea of ‘one true church’ morphed into ‘we’re the one true church.’ But the unity that we had between churches was amazing.
As an example, in 1991 I was a Senior at the University of Cincinnati and about to go to NYC on my last quarter of co-op employment. I was going to need an apartment in Manhattan for 3 months. I simply called the church office for the NYC Church of Christ and told them I was coming and asked if there was anyone I could stay with. They hooked me up with a household where one of the brothers was leaving for the same 3 months to go work on the beginnings of the Big Dig project in Boston. His 4 roommates took me in as if I was someone they’d known for years. Not only that, but because this guy would have had to pay his full share of the 2 bedroom apartment’s rent (his share was $450 if I remember right), he volunteered to let me stay there for the same rent I was paying in Cinci – $150 a month – and he picked up the rest. That was for an Upper East Side apartment (83rd and Lexington).
This is how we operated, period. We were a family and it was expected that you’d act that way. This was not an isolated incident. I experienced this kind of open hospitality regularly from different congregations and people. We’d go to conferences in other cities and the members of those congregations would put us up for the weekend, having never met us before. Not on the hide a bed, no they’d take the hide a bed and we’d get their bed.
Isn’t this the ideal of Christian unity that many today blow off as unobtainable? This reminds me of what I see in the NT (Acts 2:44-45):

All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.

This is how God’s church looked in the beginning, and I think it’s how it should look today.

Look at the callender in the upper right corner and you’ll see that it’s been a bit sparse around here lately. Frankly, a big part of me didn’t want to sit down and write this tonight. Partly out of obligation to the 2-3 readers I have* and partly because I felt like it would do me some good to sit and write, I sort of forced my self to log on. Maybe it’s just the pace of my life lately (see here), I don’t know, but I’ve lost my fire for blogging. No, this isn’t a notice that I’m giving it up, it’s just been hard to get motivated about it. I really can’t say why, but I just don’t feel like it.
Well, I guess if I were honest, I can say something about why. Over the past few weeks I’ve been writing sporadically about fundamentals of Christianity. I threw a gauntlet down of sorts in the begining that Christians ought to be able to agree on the basics of Christianity and that we ought to stop fighting over trivial matters. While I still think that this is a great ideal, I guess I’m not so sure I want to write any more about it. Frankly, I figure that I will offend somebody or spark some angry debate and I don’t want to do that – or more accurately, I don’t want to feel the wrath of those offended. I want to write more on the subject, but the thought of doing so is a bit oppressive.
Jesus took stand on things. He stood up and said this is right and that is wrong, unequivocably. He was not afraid to step on toes, even to the point of calling those who defined ‘religion’ in His day, basically, evil. My friend Douglas Jacoby recently posted some interesting observations (writen in 1991) about the nature of God’s prophets throughout history. Namely, they are almost always in a small minority (frequently alone) and are almost always persecuted and opposed by a majority of religious leaders. He offers several examples from scripture, go check it out.
Being in the minority is not fun, especially if it’s a persecuted minority. If one examines the scriptures honestly, you start to see why they killed Jesus. He stood up and told the people, the leaders, that they were wrong and in fact were far fom God. To stand up for God can be a lonely position. I don’t want to be isolated and persecuted for speaking up for God, so I guess that’s why I’ve hesitated to post my thoughts on specific fundamentals.
I recognize that this all sounds a bit arrogant. Who am I to assume that I speak for God? Certainly, just because history shows that God’s prophets were in the minority does not mean that every minority view is from God. I would say, however, if everyone in the religous world agrees with you, better watch out. So when I think about posting my take on Christian fundamentals, I know that if it is to be close to God’s it will be uncomfortable to many. I will not find much agreement.
The ‘Christian’ population in the US is very large and on some level quite homogeneous. There’s a certain agreement on not challenging each other on what we believe about fundamental things. Sort of a “Don’t ask don’t tell” environment. We’re all ‘Christian’ so it’s all good. Frankly, that turns my stomach. Jesus wasn’t afraid to tell people that they were flat wrong, and even the brothers in the first century corrected each other on fundamentals in doctrine (Acts 18:24-26, Acts 19:1-5, Galatians 2:11-14). We ought to trust our Bibles and our God to lead us and take a stand on His plan.
But even as I type this I know that my version of God’s plan and anothers will be different. And I know that it’s easier and more comfortable to discuss less important matters than to resolve our differences on fundamentals. But as I look around at ‘Christianity’, I see some great hearted people with some amazing thoughts and insights on God, but I know that we are on different pages on fundamentals and it tears at my heart. What they define as Christianity and what I difine it as are differnet things. I long for a united church. I long to be able to say “I’m a Christian” and to have people know precisely what that means. Is it too much to ask?
I guess at some point I’ve got to take my stand and throw out there what I believe. It is a bit silly, isn’t it, to get worked up about exposing my heart when this little corner of the net is clearly not that well traveled anyway. Oh well.

Continue reading “What Have I Gotten Myself Into?”

Heard an encouraging message tonight at church. It came from Harlem Salim, the evangelist of the Indonesain International Churches of Christ. He was here in Columbus for our church conference entitled ‘Strong in the Grace”. I must say that I was underwhelmed by the conference, but I think that had more to do with me than the conference itself. Many people were encouraged and inspired by what they heard. So I guess that makes it a success. Right now I am just bogged down by, well, life. There’s been just a bit too much life for my tastes right now.
Work has been, well, without going into details let’s just say pretty stressfull of late. Crazy deadlines & demands, miscommunications, pulled in many directions, lack of support. I’ve also been lobbying for getting help with a project for a friend at work, without much success. That finally got worked out today, thankfully. I’m no good a approaching the boss, or his boss (the owner) let alone both with what amounts to a favor.
My barbershop chorus, the Singing Buckeyes is ramping up for fall contest. We’ve got some pretty amitious songs we’re learning. It’s been a few years since we’ve been on top in our district, and we’re trying to regain lost ground. We’ve got a new director (a little over a year now) and we’re making some great headway. There’s a bunch of pressure to get up to speed, put in extra time practicing, etc. We’ve got an all day coaching session this Saturday that I really need to be at.
The deacons have been going from house to house meeting with the people. It’s been encouraging to get to know people a bit better, but it’s also been pretty exhausting. We’re paired up and the brother I’m with and I have been doing two a week. The group we’re meeting with are all across on the other side of town, so each visit is about 1 hour of drive time there and back. Each meeting itself has taken about 2 hours. Don’t hear me wrong, I’m very glad we’re doing this (I’ve gotten a few free meals!), it’s just that I had know idea how much work it would really be. Not to mention that emotional exhaustion that comes from hearing people’s struggles and concerns. Or hearing that they don’t have concerns when I feel so much concern for my church right now.
The conference itself was a big undertaking for our small church. We’ve had these type of conferneces before, but other (larger) churches sponsored them. This year our minister when out on faith and said that the 120 or so disciples in Columbus would host it. So we did and over 800 were here this past weekend. My role, as children’s ministry deacon was to coordinate children’s ministry for Sunday morning. Let’s just say that it didn’t go as well as I would have liked. The planning, that is, Sunday morning itself went off with out a hitch. Dispite lots of emails and attempts to get information, I did not know up until Sunday AM how many kids I’d have or how many teachers would be there from other churches to help. I came very close to cancelling the children’s ministry all together. For a while I felt a like I was going to loose no matter what I did. In the end, the disciples from other churches came through and we had more than enough teachers. I was even able to let a few go back into the church service.
And to top it all off, my two older daughters go in on Tuesday to get their tonsils out. Two under 10 rcovering from surgery in the same house next week ought to be fun. Mom is coming down to help either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, which will be very good, but it will probably be a little crazy around here. Oh, and did I mention that the middle one broke her arm on Monday?
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that I was a little out of it at church tonight. People were asking me simple questions and you’d think they had asked me to do Dick Chaney’s taxes in my head. I just looked at them dumfounded. Reading this post, it makes a little more sense. (I honestly didn’t figure out how much I was dealing with until I wrote this out tonight!)
So tonight when I heard Harlem speak the following, it was as if a burden had been lifted and everything was OK. It was something like this:

Remember, you’re the son of the King.

That kinda puts everything else in perspective, doesn’t it?

It’s a two-for-Tuesday on Virusdoc trackbacks here a Salguod.net. He has his Evidence for God, Part V out today, and it’s a great post. Here’s a tease:

Faith (or hypothesis, or stubborn determination) is a requisite to knowledge in a world where reality is often buried several layers beneath perception.

Go read it, you won’t be disappointed.