A year and half ago, our church’s minister and I seemed worlds apart. We had different philosophies and ideas and were headed in different directions, or at least it seemed.
About 9 months ago we seemed to turn together toward a common direction.
In the past 6 months it has felt like we are now moving on parallel paths.
Wednesday night I felt like he and I were in the exact same place, something I haven’t felt with anyone in a while.
The past few months have been a really challenging time for me. I have seen my sinful heart more clearly than ever before. I’ve seen in me attitudes and behaviors that I either had thought I was done with or I simply did not struggle with. It has felt like God has decided to show me who I really am. I’m reminded of this scripture:

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Hebrews 4:12-13

I feel as though God has cut open my chest, pried open my heart, uncovering my sin and said “I want you to see what’s really in here.” What is there was critical thoughts, judgmental attitudes, pride, condescension, quick judgments and easy anger.
It has hurt to see my true self. A lot. I’ve felt hopeless, powerless to change. It has felt like I’ve been this way since birth and it was inevitable that this is who I would become. This is who I am, I don’t know how to be different. I don’t know how to see myself and others differently. More than that, I can’t imagine that there is a different way to look at things. I have felt completely alone and isolated. I have analyzed it, looking for a solution, then realized how foolish that was, and the tried to analyze the analysis and then just wanted to run and hide. I have thought that perhaps I was insane, maybe I needed counseling? I have found it hard to talk about as well, partly because the feeling and the awareness have defied explanation and partly due to shame and my pride.
Through this time I’ve thought about Paul’s description of the thorn in his flesh in 2 Corinthians 12. I feel as though I finally understand it, I’m convinced that Paul’s thorn is his own sinful heart. Maybe that’s just because it suits me right now, but that’s OK with me. After all, in the preceding chapter he says that he will boast about his weaknesses.
If this is what Paul was dealing with, I can completely understand his begging God to take it away. I have wished that God did not trust me enough to show me my true self. I have longed for the days if blissful ignorance of my own sinful heart, but this Genie will not go back in the bottle. In the end, I know it will be a good thing, but right now it seems unbearable.
So, last night, myself and two other leaders met to talk over some things in the church, things that seemed very important to me a week or two ago. But as we debated & discussed what had happened and what should be done, I suddenly understood that my real issue was with myself. Those things were important and I did care about them, but what I really needed was to fix me and I wasn’t even sure how to talk about it.
After I tried one more time to enunciate what I was feeling, our minister articulated just what I have felt. His being overwhelmed by his own sin, struggling with its reality. And he related how he felt like Paul must have in 2 Corinthians 12.
And it was like someone turned on a light in a dark room. A weight lifted from my shoulders, the weight of feeling alone and isolated. The issues were still there, but I was no longer alone. Going home, I had to smile at how God had brought us together like this. I had prayed some time ago that our relationship would grow, but I couldn’t see how it was to happen. But here we are, at a cross roads, but the two paths are behind us, not ahead.
I truly don’t understand how God works in the world, but He clearly does. He has been active, behind the scenes in our hearts to bring us both to this place. I have much to learn yet in this particular struggle. God’s answer to Paul was “My grace is sufficient for you.” and that absolutely blows my mind right now. No way in my mind, though I know it to be true, that simple grace is enough to cover all that I see in me. If it were me facing that stuff in someone else, I’d require more than grace (which, of course, is a big part of the problem.) Grace is sufficient? Really? That’s going to take me a while, but that’s OK I guess.

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a surprise announcement today, the President used a prime time press conference to reveal that Osama Bin Laden had in fact been captured 2 years ago in Pakistan and has been held in the D.C. area since at least early 2005. In fact, the president has been meeting with Bin Laden personally for the past several months.
“We’ve been having lunch two or three times a week. He’s a big fan of my grilled brats, as long as we’re not out of relish.” the President said.
He’s been giving Mr. Bin Laden history lessons, educating him on the ideals and priorities of the American way – freedom and opportunity.
“He was completely misinformed as to what we stood for. He’s been an eager learner. He now has a much better appreciation for the USA and what we are about.”
It’s a controversial and risky policy, reaching out to our enemy – one who is responsible for so many American deaths – and attempting to connect with him. And this is no simple political stunt, the President believes in Bin Laden’s potential.
“I think this man has potential to foster great change in the world. He could really make a difference and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he has that chance. I know his past, but I refuse to hold that against him any longer. To that end, I have forgiven him and the American people should as well. As of this moment I have given Osama Bin Laden a full Presidential pardon for any and all crimes against the United States. I fully expect that this will cost me my job and frankly make me target for ridicule, hatred and even assassination. But this man’s life is worth it.
“Before I am forced from office, however, I intend to put Mr. Bin Laden in a position that will allow him the opportunity to do as much good as possible. I plan to nominate Osama Bin Laden to be the next Ambassador to the UN and do everything in my power to see that he makes it into that post. I hope that the American people will get behind this new nominee.”
Yes, it’s extraordinarily unlikely fiction. Not only unlikely, but ill advised, no, stupid. Who in their right mind would do such a thing?

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.

Colossians 1:21-22

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:16-21

In this post at the Thinklings, Jared points to an article detailing reports of poor tipping during the recent Southern Baptist Convention. My wife and I both did our time in the service industry, she as a waitress, me as a pizza guy, valet and doorman. We both have talked about how Christians are known as poor tippers.
Frankly, that’s pathetic. Didn’t Jesus say we would be known by our love? Didn’t Paul call us to give generously? Didn’t Jesus say (paraphrasing) if someone asks for 15%, give him 20%? Didn’t the early church sell their things to give to others? So why can’t we tip well?
Jen, one of the commenters said perhaps Christians are confused about what being frugal is and instead are just being cheap. Even if it is frugality, it’s misplaced. Here’s my reply:

On frugality: Christians need to understand what frugal is. Frugal is clipping coupons, buying on sale, shopping for better prices, buying cheaper brands – all good things. In all those cases, the seller has offered you a better deal, either better than his normal deal or the other guys deal.
Frugal is not cutting someone else’s pay to balance your budget. When you skimp on the tip, you are deciding that the food is on sale today, not them. Frugal means I get by with less, not that I make someone else get by with less.
You want to be frugal? Skip the drink and give the $1.25 to the waiter. Eat at Steak N Shake instead of Applebee’s and give the difference to the waiter. Order a burger instead of an entrée and give the difference to the waiter. Or do any of those things and keep the difference, just tip well regardless. Skimp on yourself not them.

If you’re a Christian, show them Jesus by tipping well. Particularly on a Sunday lunch, when the church crowd goes out to eat. If you need to skimp, skimp on yourself.

The idea of total commitment is not new, and it goes back farther than those infamous 30 ‘would be’ back in 1979. Right after delivering the 10 commandments to Israel (Deuteronomy 5), Moses said this to the people:

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

God expected all of them. The things of God were to permeate their lives. This is the same passage that Jesus quoted in Matthew 22 saying everything else hinges on this command and the command to love each other.
God expects nothing less than everything we have. Total Commitment. One of the things the ICOC attempted to do was to legislate and regulate that commitment. We tried to define what total commitment looked like in terms of how much you read your Bible, how often you shared your faith, how much you prayed, how much money you gave, etc. We tried to do what God had, at least in the New Testament, not done – quantify commitment.
Few would argue that there’s a commitment problem in the broad expanse of mainstream Christianity. It only takes a cursory look at the lives of many who claim the name ‘Christian’ to see that the things of God are not the guiding force in their lives that Deuteronomy 6, Matthew 22 and other passages teach us that they should be. But there’s little we can do as individuals to change the whole of ‘Christianity’.
On the other end of that spectrum, in terms of one on one relationships, we can at times see in our close friends things in their lives that don’t reflect their professed commitment. In these close relationships there is much we can do to help each other along. We know each other well, we respect each other and we have the foundation for these kind of challenging conversations. Not only are they possible, they are necessary. If we fail to initiate them, we are not acting in love.
But in between, at the level of the individual church or small group within a church, how does this total commitment manifest itself? Churches have their own culture and personality. They can be healthy or not, they can be sinful or righteous, they can be committed or not. It’s the sum of the actions of individuals that creates this corporate personality, but that personality also influences the actions of the individual. It is truly a body of its own, made up of many individual parts, but with its own personality. The heart and actions of the individual and of the church are intertwined, each relies on and influences the other.
So how does a church or small group define what total commitment looks like in that context? In other words, what does a church that’s living the commitment Jesus called us to look like? We’ve all been to churches where we didn’t see the commitment. There are many signs that make us wonder and the more that are present the more we wonder. Low attendance, lack of zeal, struggling financially, lack of growth, little fellowship.
Before my recovering ICOC friends scramble for their heart medication and inhalers, I’m not going all old school on you. It’s a real question, though, how does a church practically live out and maintain the commitment to Christ that we are called to? What does growth, evangelism, zeal, giving, attendance, etc. look like within a group of the committed and, more importantly, what does a church leadership do if it feels that there’s a problem in one or more of these areas?
I am really interested in your thoughts on this. You might have guessed that this is something we are wrestling with here in Columbus. We do know what we should not do, that is go back to regularly checking every one’s calendars and checkbooks and making sure folks have evangelistic goals to make sure they are committed. Not that our calendars and checkbooks are off limits or evangelistic goals are never appropriate, however, it’s just that sort of constant monitoring for compliance is short sighted at best, producing temporary results while leaving the struggling behind. We want to take the long view. What does this family of God believe on such matters? Families have principles they stand and live by that define who they are, but they may be different for another family. In the same way, what are the Columbus Church of Christ principles that define us? Others may not follow them, but this is who we are and what we are about.
I think it can create a powerful sense of community and unity to have such things. But how does a church develop them without them going from principals that unify to rules that divide?
I welcome your thoughts.

I’ve spent enough time here pointing out his faults and sins, it’s only fair that I do the same when I see him get it right. From the latest article from Kip McKean:

I am so sorry to everyone who is striving to be a dedicated disciple of Jesus. Please forgive my arrogance and disrespect in the Portland Bulletin articles and in my Sunday sermons, which are online. I do believe there are church leaderships around the world that are trying very hard to restore the lordship of Christ and discipling. Particularly encouraging are recent reports I have heard from around the globe about the great progress being made in: Florida, Maryland, Texas, Virginia, Mexico, Central America, Africa, India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. I’m sure that there is even more good news, but these are just a few that have come to my attention recently.
I am deeply sorrowful to all my brothers and sisters in the mainline Churches of Christ who are striving to seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness. Please forgive my lack of respect and recognition to your efforts for Christ.
Though we are supportive of new congregations of dedicated disciples, let me extend a heartfelt apology to the churches in Chicago, Phoenix and Kiev for giving the impression of a “blanket condemnation” that there were no disciples in them or that their congregations “were spiritually dead.” Please forgive me. I know that there are many “sold-out” disciples in these congregations. I am also aware that every church faces trials of many kinds, including Portland and these new congregations. These new congregations, the Portland leadership, and I would like to apologize for things that we have said or done that hurt you or discouraged you in your faith. Going forward, we will strive to avoid these mistakes and would like to work together as closely as possible to evangelize each city and the entire world.
… Please pray for me and my humility as well as my wisdom and boldness in preaching the Word.

From a person who has felt targeted, excluded and condemned, if not directly then by association (or lack of association with Portland), Kip, I forgive you. This is one of the most humble things I’ve seen you write, and for that I’m encouraged. I will and have prayed for you that you will be humble and you will find a way to use your God given and amazing ability to motivate people for his glory and not your own. Kip, your zeal, passion and charisma is amazing and can do amazing good or amazing hurt. Find others in addition to Doug Arthur who will mentor you and have the courage to tell you the truth. It shouldn’t be hard, I think some 84 of them sent you a letter a while back.
I will ask one thing, however. Please understand and bear with those of us who have been your critics in recent months. We’ve have seen apologies from you before along with declarations of the desire to be different. We may be ready to forgive, but hesitant to trust. Understand why and allow us room to find a way to trust. Most importantly, give us reasons to.

But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not think you can say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

Mathew 3:7-10

This was inspired by a comment from our minister in his midweek lesson a couple of Wednesdays ago.
If you have small children, or any children (’cause they were small once), you are likely familiar with an establishment called Chuck E Cheese. If not, perhaps you know of similar establishments with cartoon characters, video games, a play gym and greasy pizza. Sugar, pizza and caffeine fueled chaos.
As adults, we look at the inside of a Chuck E Cheese and shake our heads a little. Sure, the kids love it, but they come to see a lame mechanical stage show with large shaking, plastic rodent, hug a strange teenager in a mouse suit, eat mediocre pizza and pay pointless games for tickets they can trade for worthless trinkets that will be broken or lost before they get home. It’s all pretty worthless, yet the kids run around in a zealous joy, loving every minute of it. They think it’s the best thing ever, and they will wail if they find themselves short of tickets to get the chrome plated whistle or the blow pop that we could buy at Wal-Mart for 50 cents.
We know, despite their passion now, it all means nothing and they’ll even forget about it in a little while.
I suspect that God looks down at us and our world and shakes his head too. Sure, we love life, but we run around in a silly kind of stage show with players in poor disguises, trying to hide who they are behind masks of contentment and satisfaction, we seek approval from men who are as fake and flawed as we are and power over others to puff ourselves up and convince ourselves that we’re not fake and flawed ourselves. We run in circles or on treadmills and lift heavy objects for no reason but to make our decaying physique last a few more short years. And we play silly games to acquire little pieces of paper that we can trade for trinkets like houses, cars and HDTV that begin to fall apart as soon as we acquire them. It’s all pretty worthless, yet we run around in a zealous joy, loving every minute of it, or at least we think we do. We think it’s the best thing ever, and we wail if we find ourselves short of little pieces of paper to get the 62″ wide screen that will be obsolete months after we get it home.
God knows, despite all of our passion for this life now, it all means nothing and we’ll even forget about it all in a little while.
Kids eventually grow up and see Chuck E Cheese for what it is. As Christians, we ought to be mature to see this life for what it is as well. Temporary, a shadow of eternity, a blip.
The question is, do we? We don’t act like it. We spend most of our energy chasing the things of the world rather than the things of heaven. If God would pull back the curtain to the spiritual reality of the world around us, how would things be different? Perhaps that’s why God allows things like cancer, AIDS, earthquakes, job losses, accidents, hurricanes, disease and tragedy. These shocks put this world in perspective, allowing us – forcing us – to peek under the curtain.
I’m convinced that Satan spends most of his time throwing the trinkets and concerns of the world in our face, keeping us busy acquiring them or maintaining them so we won’t notice God, quietly working in the shadows, waiting for us to leave the Chuck-E-Cheese games and join him in the work that matters.

Alan, on his blog Christian Unity, has just wrapped up an excellent series on the beginning of the division that now, unfortunately, characterizes the restoration movement. It was an education in where we come from that I am grateful for. From his last post:

Thomas Campbell would not recognize this movement as it exists today, if it can still be called a movement. Will Jesus recognize it when he returns? May God have mercy on us all.
What caused the great departure of the Restoration Movement from the original intent to unify believers? In a nutshell, it was the policy of purifying the doctrine of the church through division. That was the policy implemented by the Address and Declaration. And it was the policy that has driven every division in the churches of Christ since 1889.

The series was inspired by his post on Sola Scriptura that pointed out both how the Restoration Movement was founded on the principle of the Bible being enough and how many in modern day Restoration Movement churches don’t seem to think that the Bible is enough anymore. They add in unwritten creeds and tests of fellowship based on particular pet doctrines, beliefs and practices.
What started as a movement for unity is now one of the most fractured. What started the division? The desire to maintain what some saw as a purity of Christian doctrine, to speak out against supposed heresies. It began a little over one hundred years ago in Sand Creek IL. There, in 1889, a message was delivered that declared some as in and some as out. A few years later, the Illinois Supreme Court settled matters between the two, now separate, churches:

On February 21, 1906, the Supreme Court of the State of Illinois handed down a decision in the case titled “The Christian Church of Sand Creek, Shelby County, Illinois, versus The Church of Christ at Sand Creek.” That case decided the ownership of church property subsequent to a very public and ugly church split. What a tragedy that Christians went to court against other Christians, appealing all the way to the state Supreme Court, over some dirt, boards, and nails. One side got what they wanted–ownership of a little land and a small building. Meanwhile the Bride of Christ was humiliated as the world looked on. And a noble movement for unity was brought to a standstill.

From Alan’s opening post, Poison in Our Roots

One of the things that strikes me here is how we in the ICOC fell into the same trap that RM folk have fallen into for decades. We pulled ourselves out from the rest of the COC and called others away, for the so called purity of God’s church. ‘Sold out disciples’ and ‘fully committed disciples’ were the only ones welcome. How ironic that in our zeal to fix what we thought was ailing the COC, we did exactly what they had done for years. Not surprising, then, that we failed too.
Go read Alan’s series, it’s enlightening. Here are the links:

• Poison in Our Roots
• The Church Divided
• Sand Creek: Immediate Aftermath
• The Aftermath: Daniel Sommer
• W. Carl Ketcherside on Sand Creek
• The Legacy of Sand Creek